Oct 27, 2022
A girl living in a haunted house must find a way to protect her way of life..
Written and produced by Julie Hoverson
Eden - Jaiden Douwes
Henry - Danar Hoverson
Callandra - Julie Hoverson
Frederick! - Reynaud LeBoeuf
Ethan - Scott Douwes
Mrs. Sherman - Angela Kirby
Garth Sherman - Luke LeBoeuf
News - Suzanne Dunn
Henry's Mom - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard
Music by Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com)
Sound mastering: Julie Hoverson
Cover Design: Dennis Hager
"What kind of a place is it? Why it's an old brownstone home,
can't you tell? Where else would you expect to find
... a couple of ghosts?
A Ghost of a Chance
Eden Anderson, precocious 11-year old
Ethan Anderson, her dead father, 47
Callandra O'Doul, dead Irish maidservant, 20
Henry Torrence, burglar, 23
Frederick Ferryman, dead actor, 40s-50s
Ms. Sherman, CPS, 32
Garth Sherman, her son, a bully, 13
OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a big old brownstone, can't you tell? Where else would you find a ghost or two?
SCENE 1 – coming home
SOUNDS MODERN STREET NOISE.
SOUND WE FOLLOW THROUGH A CREAKY GATE. STREET NOISE QUIETS A BIT. FOOTSTEPS ON LEAVES, THEN ON WOOD PORCH. KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS PASS THROUGH.
SCENE 2 – HALLWAY AND KITCHEN
EDEN Hey! I'm home!
SOUND BACKPACK FLUNG ONTO TABLE. DOOR SHUTS AND IS CAREFULLY LOCKED.
CALLANDRA You're going to have to do some shopping soon, miss. We're almost out of soap powder.
EDEN [sigh] I'll put it on the list.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS, THEY HESITATE, THEN STOP
EDEN What? Move it. I'm tired.
CALLANDRA [evasive] You're looking a mite peaked. You could use a bite to eat. Come into the kitchen and have some soup.
EDEN [slightly suspicious] O-kay...
SOUND MODERN JAZZ, PLAYED LOW, SLIGHTLY MUFFLED
EDEN Dad's not at the videos again is he?
SOUND OPENING CUPBOARDS, CANS BEING PULLED OUT AND PLACED ON THE COUNTER
CALLANDRA [not quite convincing] No.
EDEN Then why don't you want me to go upstairs?
SOUND POP TOP ON CAN, SOUP INTO BOWL
CALLANDRA Whatever gave you that idea--?
EDEN Oh, please.
CALLANDRA Can I not just be concerned about you? Someone has to be!
SOUND MICROWAVE OPENS, FOOD IN, SETTING TIME
EDEN I'm fine.
SOUND TURNS ON MICROWAVE
SCENE 3 – A BIT LATER
AMBIANCE TELEVISION PLAYS LOW IN THE BACKGROUND
News ....was stolen from the J.J. Holdings museum at the university today. The vase is attributed to the school of Cellini, and has been valued at nearly half a million dollars.
SOUND CELLPHONE DIALS, RINGS, PICKS UP
EDEN Hey Ariel. ... Nothing. Look, I've been thinking about--
SOUND THUMPING ON CEILING
EDEN --trying out... for... Can you wait a minute, Ariel?
SOUND HOLD BUTTON IS PRESSED
SOUND DOOR OPENS. STEPS INTO FOYER, SLIGHT ECHO
SOUND THUMPING FROM ABOVE. A COUPLE OF RAPID STEPS.
SOUND [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING]
CALLANDRA Oh no, miss.
EDEN Yeah? Stop me. It's not dad - I can hear his computer going, and it's not you, since you're right here. Maybe Frederick? [yelling] Frederick?
CALLANDRA [worried] Oh...
SOUND [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING]
FREDERICK [overly theatrical, as always] Enter stage right. Yeeeees?
CALLANDRA See, it's all gone now--
SOUND THUMPING FROM ABOVE
CALLANDRA [dismay] Ooh!
EDEN [grim] What is it?
FREDERICK Shall I make a recon, my young commander?
EDEN Oh! Shoot!
SOUND BEEP ON PHONE
EDEN Gotta call you back, Ariel. Yeah, it's dad.
SOUND PHONE HANGS UP
EDEN Callandra? You want to explain--
SOUND DOORBELL RINGS. WHOOSH [GHOSTS LEAVING]
EDEN [exasperated sound] Uuh!
SOUND STAMPING FEET, CHAIN LOCK GOES ON
SOUND DOOR OPENS
EDEN [sweetly] Yes?
EDEN My father is asleep. He hasn't been feeling very well.
FREDERICK [whisper] Why? Is she covered in chocolate?
EDEN [gritted teeth] Maybe when he's feeling better. Can he call you?
CALLANDRA What's C-P-S? Does that mean she's with the coppers?
EDEN What's this about? I would invite you in, but--
EDEN By who?
FREDERICK [booming voice] Whom.
EDEN I mean - by whom?
EDEN [calling] Thanks - uh - Ms. Sherman.
SOUND DOOR SHUTS
EDEN Oh, shoot!
CALLANDRA Now, it's not that bad. Is it?
FREDERICK Of course it is. CPS are the child police service. They arrest bad little children.
CALLANDRA The devil you say! Oh, Eden, tell me darling! They won’t arrest you!
EDEN They don't - but they do take children away from the wrong type of home environment.
CALLANDRA [relieved] Ohhh! We're safe enough then.
EDEN [as if] Ri-ight.
EDEN Are you going to tell me, or do I just get to find out for myself?
CALLANDRA Oh, my stars...
SCENE 4 - UPSTAIRS
SOUND DOOR UNLOCKS, OPENS
HENRY [gasps] Jeez! About flipping time! You ever hear of unlawful imprisonment?
EDEN I've heard of burglary.
HENRY You're kinda small for a cop.
EDEN [exasperated noise] Dude. You can come out now, but just so you know, I've got a taser.
SOUND SLOW FOOTSTEPS
EDEN [gasps, shocked] You look like--!
HENRY Got my hands up, all that. [quoting] Don't tase me, [ending lamely] uh, bro.
SOUND A COUPLE MORE STEPS, THEN
HENRY [grunt as he lunges at her]
SOUND SCUFFLE. FALLING FURNITURE, SOMETHING BREAKS, THEN...
FREDERICK [unearthly wail]
HENRY [screams, then gibbers until noted]
SOUND SOMETHING SMALL CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR
EDEN I hate when you do that! That is so gross! [tsk, annoyed sigh] You coulda left your head on...
FREDERICK [huffy] It was effective.
EDEN [sigh] You. What's your name?
HENRY [gibbering] ...head came off, and cold, so cold!
HENRY [sharp intake of breath] Wha-ah-ah?
EDEN Your name, mister burglar.
HENRY Henry. Henry Torrence. [whispered] What the heck was that?
EDEN A ghost. Now, Mister Torrence, I suppose I'm gonna have to tie you up or something, so you don't try and jump me again--
HENRY Howzabout just letting me - ya know - go?
EDEN You broke in. I have to do something, and I really don't want to have to deal with the cops - they'll bother dad.
HENRY Look, I never hurt no one, I ain't the type. I swear!
EDEN Still... I think you need to stay locked up for a while.
CALLANDRA Can I keep him? Please? I caught him!
FREDERICK Shut up woman, we may be able to use this fellow's services.
EDEN [ordering] March! I'll put you somewhere better than that closet, but you better stay put or -
EDEN [unenthusiastically] Yeah, that. Boo.
SCENE 5 - DOWNSTAIRS
CALLANDRA What do you plan to do with him? Please say I can have him for me own - he's such a fine specimen of a man.
EDEN If you keep him, I have to feed him.
CALLANDRA Well... not necessarily...
EDEN No. No. No. I'm not having any more ghosts around here.
CALLANDRA You never let me have any fun!
EDEN Besides, didn't you notice the resemblance?
CALLANDRA To a man?
SOUND WHOOSH, FF ENTERS
FREDERICK Our dear Callandra never looked above his [mocking her accent] "luuuvly broad shoulders!"
CALLANDRA Bite your tongue, Frederick! I still have those clippings of yours, and you will sorely regret having a jape at my expense--
EDEN Shut up!
SCENE 6 – BREAKFAST IN BED
SOUND MORNING BIRD NOISES
SOUND MUFFLED THUMP, RATTLE AT DOORKNOB
HENRY [yawns, waking]
SOUND CHAIN RATTLES, BEDCLOTHES RUSTLE
EDEN [muffled] Are you awake?
HENRY Yeah, sure. Whatever.
SOUND DOOR OPENS WITH DIFFICULTY
SOUND EDEN ENTERS WITH TRAY
EDEN I hope you like bacon.
HENRY Uh, yeah! [surprised and enthused]
SOUND SHIFTING AS HE SITS UP IN BED, CHAIN MOVES
HENRY Thanks. Breakfast in bed. Almost like a dream, except--
SOUND RATTLE OF CHAINS
CALLANDRA [snarky] Well, we can't have you wandering around the house like some sort of ... burglar, can we?
HENRY Does she need to be here?
SOUND SETS DOWN TRAY, DISHES RATTLE
EDEN She's my backup. I need to talk to you.
HENRY [annoyed] Go ahead. I don't eat with my ears.
SOUND EATING NOISES
EDEN [snort of laughter] This is going to sound really dumb, but... [thinks hard] I have a kind of proposition for you.
HENRY [offended] You are way too young, and she's dead.
CALLANDRA Shame on you!
HENRY Nothing. [eats noisily]
EDEN Ew! [angry sigh] Look, no. My dad is out of town, and I need someone to pretend to be him and talk to CPS.
HENRY CPS? The CPS? Hell no. I hate those bast‑‑ uh-- buttheads.
EDEN Why? You got kids?
HENRY Never mind. No way you can talk me into--
EDEN We'll pay you.
HENRY --into-- How much?
EDEN Dad said we could give you a thousand. For staying here for two weeks and pretending to be him.
HENRY He's not coming home for two weeks? [truly offended] What the hell is wrong with him, leaving you all alone?
HENRY I don't give a flying rat's patoot about my language! If your dad is so flipping negligent to leave you all alone for weeks at a time, [losing steam] then maybe you'd be ... better off--
EDEN [anguish] In foster care? No way!!
HENRY Well, no, but... don't you have any other family?
EDEN [mumbled] Not anywhere around here.
HENRY [sincere] That sucks!
EDEN Look, I'm not supposed to say anything, but my dad... He [whispers importantly] he works for the government. Top secret.
EDEN Uh-huh! So he can't always control when he'll be back.
HENRY Why would he - why would you even trust me?
EDEN You won't get paid until after the two weeks is up. Besides... I'm a pretty good cook?
HENRY Okay, but I have to be able to tell my mom. She'll worry if I don't get home.
EDEN You live with your mom? But you're like a grownup. That's weird.
HENRY Why do you think I don't have a real job?
SCENE 7 – MEETING CPS
FREDERICK [sharp whisper] Now you just behave now, my lad, or I'll give you what for again.
HENRY [trying to be flippant] “Boo.” I get it. This makeup itches.
EDEN Sorry. You had to look a little older.
HENRY It is kinda creepy how I look so much like your dad.
EDEN Yeah. [fretting] Where IS she?
SOUND KNOCK ON THE DOOR
EDEN [to the ghosts] Scat! [quiet] Ready?
HENRY Guess we'll find out.
SOUND FEET, DOOR UNLOCKS and OPENS
EDEN Hello? Ah. Right on time.
EDEN Right here. Come on in.
HENRY [trying too hard to sound old] Ethan Anderson. Pleased to meet you. You're Ms. Sherman?
EDEN [warning] Dad! [explaining] He's had a cold.
HENRY [clears his throat, sounds more normal] Yes, yes. Much better.
SCENE 8 – WAITING IN THE KITCHEN
SOUND FLAP OF KITCHEN DOOR, FEET
CALLANDRA [very nervous] How goes it?
EDEN Seems OK, so far.
HENRY [off, furious] What?
EDEN Oh no!
SOUND RUNS OFF, FLAP OF DOOR
EDEN [breathless] What?
HENRY [grim] Tell her.
EDEN Why? He emails them all the time. They understand how busy he is.
EDEN [QUIET, prompting] DAD!
HENRY [angry] What business is it of yours, lady?
EDEN No. I may be too young for my opinion to count, but I want to hear what you plan to do to me. We don't need anyone to look after the house. I can do that.
EDEN Like what? Play Xbox and get fat?
SCENE 9 – AFTER SHE LEAVES
SOUND FRONT DOOR SHUTS, LOCKS
HENRY You have 20 million dollars?
EDEN And a half. Not like I can spend it. They don't trust me - that's why they call it a trust fund.
SOUND SHE STARTS UP THE STAIRS
HENRY Hey, we're talking here.
EDEN [upset] You're only my dad while there's an audience.
HENRY [calling] Why don't you want a nanny or something?
SOUND RUNS UP THE STAIRS
CALLANDRA Poor child.
HENRY [gasps] Oh, right.
CALLANDRA Pity you're not much of a father.
HENRY [offended] You're not much help, either.
CALLANDRA Oh? And what do you expect from me? I've been dead over a century, boyo.
HENRY How's that work, anyway?
CALLANDRA [pouty] Don't know. Wouldn't tell you if I did.
HENRY Fine. Whatever. You have anything to drink around this place?
CALLANDRA [rolls eyes] Oh, yes. That would look terrible good to Ms. Sherman, wouldn't it?
HENRY I'm going out for a while. Don't worry - I'll sneak out the back. I'm good at THAT.
SCENE 10 – HENRY’S HOME
SOUND DOOR OPENS, MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND
HENRY [sigh, then calling] Hey mom!
MOM [bleary drunk] Baby? That you?
HENRY [resigned] Yes, mom.
MOM Where you been?
HENRY I gotta job, mom. Been working.
MOM You bring me back a little something, baby? Medicine?
HENRY [down] Tomorrow. I promise.
MOM [sarcastic] Such a good boy. You gon' expect me to bail you out again? You need to get you some better friends, baby.
HENRY I'm not a baby, mom. I'm thirty-five.
MOM You'll always be my baby, Henry, won't you? You know how much I count on you. How much it hurts every time you been taken away from me. What would I do if you were in jail? Do you ever think about that?
HENRY Yeah. [under his breath] All the time.
SCENE 11 – CHAT WITH DAD
SOUND COMPUTER KEYS
SOUND DOOR OPENS
EDEN [gasps] What? Oh! You're back!
HENRY You shouldn't sit in the dark like that.
EDEN [sarcastic] Thanks dad. [serious] I've been chatting with my real dad.
HENRY I didn't hear anything, if that's what you're worried about.
EDEN Duh. Computer chatting.
HENRY Typing. Right. I'm not much for the whole computer thing.
EDEN That could be awkward, if Ms. Sherman decides to quiz you on what you do for a living. Dad's a programmer.
HENRY For the government?
EDEN [scornful] No! [realizing] Oh, I mean... uh... he's a programmer for real, but he doesn't program for them.
HENRY [suspicious] Can I type something to him?
SOUND CHAIR SHIFTS, CLUMSY, SLOW TYPING
EDEN Is this a secret, or can I type it for you?
HENRY Yeah, go on - at this rate I'll be here all night just to say Hi. Um... [thinking] Mister... uh ... can I call him Ethan?
EDEN [responding to dad] All right. He says let's turn on the microphone.
EDEN Now you can just talk. He still has to type, though. His mike is broken.
HENRY I don't know you, so maybe I'm not the one who should be saying this, but - here goes. Dude, leaving your kid alone makes you a bad dad. So what if the government needs you!
EDEN You're... serious?
HENRY Hell yeah. You're gonna grow up robbing banks and stuff.
EDEN Hmm. He says, just because your dad was a deadbeat, doesn't mean --
HENRY What the hell do you think you know?
EDEN He says--
HENRY I can see what he says. Background check, my ass!
EDEN I told you he's a computer guy.
HENRY Fine. You need to take care of--
EDEN Don't tell me how to raise my daughter. Oh, and he says "watch"--
SOUND [some CCTV video comes on the computer]
HENRY [shocked] How did he get that?
EDEN Is that you? Breaking into a building? Wow. Wait, is that the museum?
HENRY So that's your way of keeping me in line?
EDEN Are you the one who stole the Cellini vase?
HENRY I plead the fifth. [angry sigh] Fine. I'll do my two weeks, and then I am the hell out of here.
EDEN [angry] Very well, you worthless wretch!
EDEN [innocent] Just what he said.
SCENE 12 – RUDE AWAKENING
SOUND POUNDING ON DOOR
CALLANDRA Mr. Anderson!!
HENRY [sleepy] What?
CALLANDRA That woman is at the door!
HENRY I can't answer it like this! I don't have that old-age makeup--
HENRY No, no - I can do it--
SOUND POUNDING AGAIN
FREDERIC Did I hear a cue?
HENRY No, we--
CALLANDRA He needs to look old and ill. And right fast.
HENRY Really, I--
FREDERIC Hmm. Here. [horrible ghostly noise]
FREDERIC Damnation. Once that would have turned your hair quite white - as it is, you will have to wear a cap.
SCENE 13 – CPS AGAIN
SOUND DOOR OPENS SLOWLY
HENRY [shaky] Yes?
HENRY I was in the shower. Nearly killed myself slipping when I came down the stairs.
HENRY You might have heard the scream.
HENRY [sigh] Very well.
SOUND THEY GO IN, HE FAKES A LIMP
CALLANDRA You watch out for that one!
FREDERICK She can't hear us unless we want her to.
HENRY She's a very good student.
HENRY That ain't nothing to sneeze at, lady!
HENRY What makes you think that?
HENRY Why? She's real smart.
FREDERICK You tell her! But you might try using proper grammar.
HENRY I'd rather let her be herself.
CALLANDRA Oh, that's touching, that is.
HENRY [faltering] She has ...friends.... here.
HENRY You recruiting or something? I ain't making any decisions behind my kid's back.
HENRY She wants to stay -- WHAT?
HENRY You really just hit me up for money?
HENRY [incredulous] Money. You're asking for money.
HENRY You're a skanky money-grubbing ho!
FREDERIC Filth straight from the bowels of satan's own thrice-crowned hounds of hell!
HENRY That's blackmail!
HENRY It's still illegal.
CALLANDRA Oh, horrors!
HENRY My... [confused] what?
HENRY Doesn't ring a bell. [chuckles lamely] Criminal record? Me? [laughs]
HENRY But I was just-- ["a kid", but he cuts off]
HENRY Oh, crap.
HENRY I'll ...see what I have lying around.
SCENE 14 – CHAT WITH DAD
SOUND DOOR OPENS, FEET STORM IN
HENRY Is your mike on, Mr. Anderson?
SOUND COMPUTER BEEP
HENRY Good. Cause I don't know jack about how to work these things.
SOUND COMPUTER BOOP
HENRY You heard what happened? How?
HENRY I didn't even notice a computer in the living room.
HENRY Huh? Which button?
HENRY No need to get snippy.
SOUND BUTTON PUSHED
ETHAN [computer generated voice] You will go immediately to the first hill bank and trust--
HENRY What do you mean immediately? I gotta do grocery shopping this morning.
HENRY Not for here. for my mom.
ETHAN Get it delivered.
HENRY Hey! Mom may be an old lush, but she expects to see me from time to time.
ETHAN Bank after.
HENRY What's all this crap that witch was talking about, anyway?
ETHAN No time. Bank today. Take three thousand dollars--
HENRY I can't pass for you at a damn bank! I can't sign your name!
ETHAN Account in your name. Use your own I-D.
HENRY What? In my name? What makes you think I won't just walk off... [back on topic] Second - why three thousand? She won't settle for just three--
ETHAN Three thousand will pay off her car.
HENRY Damn. You really can find out anything, can't you?
SCENE 15 – HENRY HOME
SOUND DOOR OPENS, MOM'S HOUSE. TV ON
HENRY I brought your groceries.
MOM Good. Didja get any beer?
HENRY It's still in the car.
MOM Bring that in next, woudja? That's a good boy.
HENRY [from other room, confused] Mom? Where's my TV?
MOM Mine was ...uh...on the fritz, so I moved yours in here.
HENRY You did?
MOM I had help.
HENRY You forgot to pay, didn't you?
MOM That is no way to talk to your mother! Besides, if you weren't gone all the time, I wouldn't have such a problem. You know I never was good with money.
MOM When did you say you'd get paid for this new job you got?
SCENE 16 – DINNER WITH EDEN
SOUND DINNER NOISES
HENRY You made this?
EDEN [sullen] Yeah.
HENRY It's pretty good.
EDEN Should be. Been cooking since I was [Callandra's accent] "just a wee thing". [change of tone, sullen] You were gone all day. Again.
HENRY I came back.
EDEN Well, duh. We're paying you to be here.
HENRY Are the ghosts joining us?
EDEN [still sullen] Frederic gets too jumpy around food, and Callandra "doesna feel tis proper."
MOMENT OF SILENCE
HENRY Are you mad at me?
SOUND THUMP - VASE ON TABLE
HENRY What the h---ay? You going through my room?
EDEN Callandra saw you hide it. SHE's very upset with you.
CALLNDRA [from off] Though it is a right pretty wee thing!
HENRY I had to bring it along - mom was about to use it as an ashtray.
EDEN Why do you steal?
HENRY Whoa! That ain't polite to ask.
EDEN It isn't polite to steal.
MOMENT OF SILENCE
HENRY What else am I gonna do? Shove burgers? I ain't even got a GED. Without that… well…
EDEN If you're trying to convince me to stay in school, there's no point.
HENRY No way! You gonna drop out? Smart kid like you – you could be any darn thing you want!
EDEN Oh, please. I already have a GED. Or at least, I took the test – just to see, you know? And I've taken a few college courses on the Internet. I stay in school for the socialization.
EDEN I stay in school to look normal and have friends. The work is boring as hell, but I don't want to stand out. Do you know how hard it is to manage a B+ average?
HENRY [sarcastic] Never had that problem, myself.
EDEN [mounting upset] I have to guess on each test what the correct percentage of answers is to get wrong. I have to dumb my writing down for essay questions. I have to--
HENRY Why not just say to hell with it, and let em see how smart you are?
EDEN Smart kids get noticed. I can stand out when I'm older. When it's safe.
SCENE 17 – WHERE’S DAD
SOUND COMPUTER NOISES
HENRY You need to get your butt home, dude. Your government might need you, but your daughter needs you more.
ETHAN Not possible.
HENRY What, are you in deep cover or something? In a foreign prison? [slow realization] Oh.... crap.
ETHAN We are both in crap.
HENRY No, I mean you - you're like them, aren't you?
ETHAN Define "them".
HENRY The ghosts.
ETHAN [beat] Yes.
HENRY Holy crap.
ETHAN No. Just regular crap.
HENRY I can't stay here forever!
ETHAN Eden needs you.
HENRY [wobbling] My mom... she needs me, too.
ETHAN Open the scanner.
HENRY What? Oh, that.
SOUND SCANNER NOISE
ETHAN I need your hand.
SCENE 18 – WHERE’S MOM
SOUND SILENT HOUSE, KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS
HENRY Mom, why's the TV --? [panicky] Mom?
SOUND MOVES THROUGH, TALKING
HENRY Mom, please say you're okay. Say something! Hello? Oh, jeez, what could they'a done to‑‑ [cuts off as he spots something] What?
SOUND PAPER PICKED UP
HENRY [Reading] Hope you get this. Woulda called, but--
MOM [continuing, guilt tripping] --you never gave me your number at "work". Won a cruise in a mail-in contest. Back in a month. "Mom." P-S, all expenses paid - how you like them apples. Oh, and make sure to pay the electric bill. Want heat when I get home.
HENRY [half amused, half annoyed chuckle] Ethan, you king of all shits.
SCENE 19 – LIKE MOTHER
SOUND OUTSIDE, DAYTIME STREET
EDEN [suspicious] Can I help you?
GARTH [mean chuckle] You bet.
SOUND CLICK OF CAMERA PHONE
GARTH [annoyed] Hey!
EDEN [scared, but standing her ground] If this is a mugging, I just e-mailed your picture to my dad.
GARTH He's not gonna do anything.
EDEN What makes you so sure?
GARTH My mom has him by the short hairs.
EDEN Your mom?
GARTH Sherman? From CPS? Ring any bells?
EDEN She went away. Everything is fine.
GARTH Course it is. It's fine as long as you guys play ball.
EDEN [starting to get it] As long as we--?
GARTH Pay up.
EDEN But that's--
GARTH You wanna complain, go whine to your dad, he'll explain the facts of life. For now... you got an ipod?
EDEN [starting to break] I--
GARTH [threatening] Or should I say, do I got an ipod? [snarl] Hand it over.
SOUND HAND OVER
EDEN [nearly in tears] There. Choke on it, you bully!
GARTH Uh! [shoves her]
SOUND EDEN FALLS
EDEN [gasp, trying hard not to cry]
SOUND GARTH WALKS AWAY
GARTH Hah! She got the Bieber fever. [nasty laugh] Ooh! Beyonce!
EDEN [long sniffle]
SOUND RUNNING FEET
HENRY What happened? Here, let me--
SOUND SHE JUMPS UP AND THROWS HER ARMS AROUND HIM
HENRY [nervous, not sure what to say] It's okay! I'll handle this. It's-- [determined, personal] It's going to be okay.
SCENE 20 – getting even
SOUND QUIETLY DRESSING
HENRY [whispering] It's easy to forget she's just a kid.
FREDERIC [stage whisper] She is a most self-possessed young lady.
HENRY Shh. She only just got to sleep.
FREDERIC And you? Are you leaving her now, in her hour of need?
HENRY [grim] Something I gotta do.
FREDERIC In the middle of the night?
SOUND ZIPPER ZIPS
FREDERIC And dressed all in black? I sense skullduggery!
HENRY Sense all you want, but stay quiet about it.
FREDERIC Alas that I cannot do more than keep the light burning for your return.
HENRY Yeah. See you in the morning.
SCENE 21 – SATISFACTION
SOUND LOUD BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR, DOOR OPENS
HENRY [self satisfied] Ahh! [yawns] So sorry. Long night.
HENRY [congenial] No, I put a stop payment on it. Won't you come in?
HENRY I - we - aren't playing your game any more.
SOUND DOOR CREAKS OPEN A CRACK, UP CLOSE
EDEN [whispered, eavesdropping] Go, Henry!
FREDERIC I could always give her a visitation - maybe we'll get lucky and she'll keel over from the shock!
EDEN No! He may be a butt, but I don't want you to kill some kid's mom!
CALLANDRA They've gone into the living room!
EDEN I'll have to listen on the laptop then. Right dad?
SCENE 22 – REVELATION
HENRY Would you like a soda?
HENRY Go ahead. When they take my fingerprints and they don't match the ones you have on file, you'll look pretty silly.
HENRY You might have noticed that I'm a bit of a computer nerd.
HENRY Call my bluff.
SOUND MOMENT OF AWKWARD PAUSE
HENRY I'm afraid you have a problem of your own.
HENRY About your money stuff, yeah - I'm sure you are. This is something else. A vase.
HENRY Have you read the papers recently? The museum?
HENRY Yeah, that thing.
HENRY It's in your house.
SCENE 23 – FINALE
EDEN What if she finds it?
HENRY What's she gonna do with it? She don't know no fences.
CALLANDRA Or any place to sell it either.
EDEN She might give it back?
FREDERIC And try to explain how she happened to come by such a fugitive object? Hah!
HENRY Hah is right.
EDEN [down] So I guess this means you're gonna go now. I mean now that it's all clear.
HENRY I guess.
EDEN Would you stay? I mean, if you could?
HENRY I'd like to but.... I dunno. My mom--
ETHAN [computer voice] Was lucky and got an apartment in a new full-service assisted living community.
HENRY What? You can't just--
ETHAN Try and get her out. They have KeNo every Thursday.
HENRY [annoyed but thinking] Hmm..... Does she get to have a nice TV?
HENRY What? How can you--?
ETHAN You will bring one to her.
CALLANDRA [sniffling] Touching.
HENRY Gotcha. And what about me?
EDEN I have four more years before I can technically be emancipated. If you're willing to be my dad til then, we'll--
ETHAN Pay you one hundred thousand per year.
HENRY [dubious] That's pretty good. Hmm... Four years.
EDEN Well, what do you want, then?
HENRY Four years sounds like a heckuva lot like college.
EDEN I'm still too young.
HENRY Nah... I was thinking... you know... [quiet] For me. [up] But only if you'll help me get my GED and stuff.
EDEN I bet I could be a really good tutor!