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19 Nocturne Boulevard


19 Nocturne Boulevard is an award-winning anthology audio drama series that ran from 2008 through 2013, and then went into deep hibernation.

STILL working on that Comeback!!

Also the creator of Fatal Girl, Bingo the Birthday Clown, The Deadeye Kid, The Lovecraft 5, The Prisoner of Hancock House, The Decadence of Borrowed Silk, Eternal Dusk Roulette, and Atomic Julie's Galactic Bedtime Stories.                                                        Join our awesome Patreon supporters!

Feb 9, 2023

Gamers on their way to a convention run afoul of violent criminals on the run.  Can they use their "skillz" to survive?

[warning - some violence, language, and mature situations]

Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson

Cast List
Abby - Beverly Poole
Mark - Brian Lomatewama
Justin - Mathias Rebne Morgan
Brianna - Lyndsey Thomas
Tyler - Michael Faigenblum
Clark - Brandon O'Brien
News Report - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard
Man - Bill Hollweg

Music of DARKEST OF THE HILLSIDE THICKETS!  used with permission

Show theme and Incidental Music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com)
Recorded with the assistance of Ryan Hirst of Neohoodoo Studio
Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson
Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock

"What kind of a place is it?
Why it's a van on a road in the middle of nowhere, can't you tell?"

_______________________________________

EXIT STRATEGY

Cast:

Mark - Game Master, in a wheelchair

Abby - strategy girl

Justin - the driver, Mark's brother

Brianna - nurse, dating Tyler

Tyler - wiry LARPer, dating Brianna

Clark - a criminal

Thug - another criminal

SOUND     FOOTSTEPS

OLIVIA      Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a car on a stretch of road in the middle of nowhere, can't you tell? 

MUSIC

SOUND      INSIDE CAR NOISES

SOUND     Music plays on the radio

SOUND     "BING" FROM THE DASHBOARD

SOUND     Justin turns down the stereo

JUSTIN     We're riding E.  [up] Eyes peeled for a gas station, everybody!

MARK     Hey, Justin, remember when it used to be sooo cool to cross the state line?

JUSTIN     Yeah - some things just lose their charm as you get older, little bro.

MARK     And can drink legally in your own state...

ABBY     Don't drink and game.  It dulls your edge.

JUSTIN     You've got enough edge for all of us, Abby. 

BRIANNA     [slightly off, giggles] I would too.

TYLER     [slightly off] That is so great.  You are so great.

ABBY     You do realize we can hear you?

JUSTIN     Keep it clean back there.  I'll lose my damage deposit on the van if it comes back stained.

BRIANNA     Ew!  We were just--

TYLER     [defiant] I was just telling Bree that if she ever got possessed by a demon, I would totally kill her.

BRIANNA     [squeaky] Isn't that sweet?

ABBY     [baffled] Yeah.  [whispered] What do you think brought on this declaration of undying love?

JUSTIN     Tyler brought his DVD player.  I think they're watching Evil Dead.

ABBY     Oh. [that explains it]

MARK     You guys are all going to help with the "Super Five" tournament, right?  I can count on you?

ABBY     Well--

MARK     Well?

ABBY     [hesitant] I was checking, and the final round of the "AfterBlast" championship is in the same time slot.

MARK     [excited] You really think you have a chance?

ABBY     Hell yeah.  I plan to kick ass and take names. 

MARK     That rocks. 

JUSTIN     I-- I noticed you were the only - um -

ABBY     Discernibly female?

JUSTIN     Yeah, that - name on the semi-finals roster. 

ABBY     Yup.  Time to represent.

MUSIC

JUSTIN     Pit stop!

MARK     Man, you are this close to losing your deposit.

JUSTIN     Shit.  Your chair's packed!

BRIANNA     I got you, Mark. 

SOUND     DOOR SLIDES OPEN, SHIFTING SOUNDS AS SHE GETS OUT

SOUND     FRONT DOOR OPENS

BRIANNA     Come on, then.

TYLER     [teasing, going off] No groping my girl, now.

MARK     Hey!  My hand slipped.  Once.

BRIANNA     Girl. [snort]  I am a woman. [grunts as she gets Mark on her back]  OK, hold on.  Tyler, got the door?

TYLER     [off] Getting it!

SOUND     QUICK FOOTSTEPS ON CONCRETE

SOUND     DOOR OPENS. MEN'S ROOM

SOUND     FLUSH, STALL DOOR OPENS

MAN     Hey!  You can't be in here!

BRIANNA     Puh-lease.  I'm a nurse.  Almost.  [sarcastic] And you should get that looked at.

MUSIC

AMBIANCE     NIGHTTIME ROAD, VERY QUIET

MUSIC VERY QUIET ON THE STEREO

JUSTIN     [quiet] Hey Abby?

ABBY     [quiet, tired] Hmm?

JUSTIN     Just wanted to see if you're awake.

ABBY     Really?  Nice of you to check.

JUSTIN     Well... I'm not sure how much farther it is to the motel, and I was starting to fade a bit.  Help keep me on the road?

ABBY     [half yawning] Sure.  What's on your mind?

JUSTIN     Any chance you and I - you know - sometime?

ABBY     [half a laugh]  I've sworn a blood oath not to date any man who can't beat me in a fair game of AfterBlast.

JUSTIN     Really?

ABBY     Something like that.  No offense, OK?  You're nice.  But we're kind of different worlds.

JUSTIN     I used to game-- 

ABBY     Used to.  You traded in your dice for the corporate world.

JUSTIN     It's not that bad-- [sudden change]  Whoah.

ABBY     What?

JUSTIN     Nothing.  Just - there's headlights behind us.  They weren't there a minute ago.

ABBY     Must have come round a corner. 

SOUND     CREAK, TURN

ABBY     [turned to look] Hmm.  How fast are we going?

JUSTIN     Why?

ABBY     They're catching up.  Should I wake everybody?

JUSTIN     Well...  if there's a crash, they're better off asleep.  Relaxed.  It's a fact - why drunks walk away more often--

ABBY     It's still coming.  Can we get off the road? 

JUSTIN     There just isn't any place to go!  The ditches are ... gaping black chasms!

ABBY     What's our speed?

JUSTIN     Seventy.  So far.

SOUND     GROWLING ROAR, GETTING CLOSER

ABBY     How much can you push a minivan?

JUSTIN     Don't know.  It's a rental.

ABBY     All right. [thinking]  Turn off the headlights.

JUSTIN     What? 

ABBY      There's a good moon - the road is straight as far as I can see right now - can you hold the wheel straight while you're blinded?

SOUND     ROARING REVVING APPROACHES

JUSTIN      I... guess-- yes.

SOUND     HEADLIGHTS TURN OFF

JUSTIN     [heavy breathing]

ABBY     Once our eyes adjust, we can look for a turnoff - in the dark, with the headlights, we won't see it until it's too late. 

JUSTIN     Does that work?

ABBY     I don't know.  Yes!  There, to the left, a road.

JUSTIN     We're going too fast!

ABBY     Start the turn early, and run in at an angle.  It should work. 

MARK     [half asleep] Yeah, the roll factors are considerably less--

JUSTIN     Roll factors?

MARK     "Street Wars," core manual.  The turn gauge modifiers.

JUSTIN     Whatever, here we go!

SOUND     SCREECH

MUSIC

AMBIANCE     OUTSIDE

SOUND     TICKING OF THE ENGINE

MARK     I'm suitably impressed.

JUSTIN     Thanks.  Me too.

ABBY     It worked!

JUSTIN     A flat tire--

ABBY     Just one.

MARK     --is not bad, all things considered.

ABBY     [encouraging] Besides you missed the ditch, and the car didn't even flip.

MUSIC

SOUND     ON THE ROAD AGAIN

TYLER     Doesn't this whole thing remind anyone of a movie?

JUSTIN     Movie?  What, Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

ABBY     Wo!  We do have the right carload for leatherface.

MARK     Hey, Justin, don't pick up any strangers, kay?  I don't wanna be the first to die.

TYLER     No....  OK, think.  A brother and sister in a car, in the middle of nowhere--

BRIANNA     [helping] In the middle of the day--

TYLER     Run off the road by a huge spooky truck--?  Hmm?

MARK     That wasn't a truck. 

ABBY     It wasn't?

MARK     While you guys were watching the road, I watched it go by - It was big and square--

TYLER     A truck.

MARK     No.  Better than that - I saw words on the side.

BRIANNA     A truck?

MARK     [sigh] Nope.  I must have made a perfect success on my perception roll, though - it was an armored car

JUSTIN     In the middle of the night?  In the middle of nowhere?

ABBY     Radio.  There must be something.

SOUND     RADIO ON, SURF CHANNELS, STOP ON AN AD

MARK     I like N-P-R.

ABBY     News channel, bub.

[Moment just listening.]

JUSTIN     OK, enough with the ads - give us some news.

TYLER     If this was a movie, the minute we switched over, the news bulletin would come on right then.  Cheesy, eh?

BRIANNA     It's just a genre convention - a way of condensing all this boring time spent listening to--

JUSTIN     Shh.

SOUND     TURNS VOLUME UP

NEWS     ...the third armored car hijacking this year, and the second one with fatalities.  Three security guards were injured in the attack--

JUSTIN     Wow.  We should call someone.

ABBY     Already on it. 

SOUND     CELL PHONE BEEPS

ABBY     Damn.  No reception.

NEWS     --two are in critical condition.  Pursuers lost the car in a high speed chase when the hijackers realized they were being tracked and dumped the onboard GPS at the side of the road. 

JUSTIN     Well, the motel must be close.  They'll have a phone.

NEWS     Police believe that one of the hijackers may have been injured in the attack...

SOUND      CLICK RADIO OFF - no music here

MARK      I thought we were supposed to reach it by ten?

JUSTIN     Well, with all you small bladdered people, we had a lot more potty breaks than I allowed for.  And, o'course, getting run off the road...  Changing the tire...

TYLER     There was that.

BRIANNA     Think your Uncle Joey'll give us a discount for coming in so late - half the night, half price?

TYLER     I'll ask him.  [yawns] In the morning, though.

MUSIC

SOUND     CAR, SNORING FROM ALL BUT JUSTIN

SOUND     BUMP, THEN CAR PULLS TO A STOP

JUSTIN     [trying to stay awake noise]  Holy crap, I think we're here.

ABBY     [waking]  Mmm?  Oh good...

JUSTIN     One moment and I'll go and check in...

ABBY     No, I'll get it.  Gotta pee anyway.  Small bladder.  [yawns] All that.

JUSTIN     [receding] I didn't mean....

SOUND     CAR DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

SOUND     FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL, DOOR, BELL JINGLES

ABBY     Hello?  Hello? 

SOUND     RINGS DESK BELL

SOUND     DOOR OPENS SOMEWHERE

ABBY     [calling]  Look, I'm sorry to be coming in so late!  We had car trouble.  Can we get a room?  [beat]  Hello? 

SOUND     FLUSH OF A TOILET

ABBY     [needs to pee] Oh, jeez.  [deep shaky breath]  Hello?

SOUND     DOOR OPENS

CLARK     Hey.  Sorry about that.  I was catching a few.  You want a room?

ABBY     Yeah, my friends and I - if you have a room with a couple of queens, we'll be fine.

CLARK     Uh, sure.  Probably.  [looking around]  Nobody really here, tonight.

ABBY     Could we have the one out on the end, then?

CLARK     Don't see why not... um...

ABBY     Says here it's room 14.

CLARK     There you go.  [unconvincing laugh] So tired my eyes won't focus.

SOUND     KEY SLAPPED ON TABLE

ABBY     How much?

CLARK     Oh, pay when you leave. 

ABBY     Hmm.  Are you Joey?

CLARK     Joey who?

ABBY     [sharp intake of breath, then faking being ditzy]  Sorry - you look a lot like the cousin of a friend of mine. 

CLARK     I get that a lot.

SOUND     FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPENS

ABBY     Oh, can I use your bathroom?  It's kind of an emergency.

CLARK     [too sharp] No!  I  mean, sorry - no can do.  Absolutely against policy.  Too bad you didn't get a room closer in, eh?

ABBY     [flat, suspicious] Yeah.

SOUND     DOOR SHUTS, JINGLE

MUSIC

SOUND     HOTEL ROOM DOOR SHUTS, FEET STUMBLE AROUND, BAGS DOWN, ETC.

SOUND     BODY FLOPS ONTO BED

JUSTIN     I am dead.  As driver, I call a bed. 

SOUND     WHEELCHAIR ROLLS

MARK     I'm with you. 

SOUND     FLUSH

BRIANNA     I suppose Abby and I should share the... other...? I thought she said the room would have two beds?

SOUND      DOOR OPENS

ABBY     That clerk didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.  Did you park right next to the door Justin?

JUSTIN     [half moan] Yes.  Why?

ABBY     I have a bad feeling about all this. 

TYLER     Any chance it has something to do with all the spooky movie talk in the car?

BRIANNA     And the guy who ran us off the road?

ABBY     Maybe. 

JUSTIN     Well, unless you're ready to drive - and pay for the extra insurance - We're not moving from this spot until I wake up.

ABBY     But the clerk - there was something wrong there.  Really.  God, for a chance at a spot hidden roll.

MARK     [more awake] Describe him.

BRIANNA     [groans]  Come on - it's beddy-bye time!

MARK     Abby's got good instincts, Bree.  You know how hard it is for me to fool her.

ABBY     That's just in game.  I'm not--

JUSTIN     [half asleep, but trying]  But you are the only girl--

BRIANNA     [half-hearted] Woman.

JUSTIN     --to make it into the ... strategic final thingee--

ABBY     Ok.  Shit I'm tired.  [long deep thinking breath]  He wouldn't let me use the bathroom.  He didn't try and hit on me.  Didn't know which number room was the one on the end.  Didn't ask how many "we" were.  Didn't know which rooms have queen beds.  Didn't ask for a credit card.

TYLER     So? He's dead tired too.  Big whoop.  It's [looks] 2 freaking 55 in the morning.

MARK     Jeez, folks, we've had sessions which went long past 3!  What's wrong with you?

JUSTIN     [muttered into the pillow]  Getting old.

MARK     Yeah.  You 25-year old over the hill codger, you.  Abby, what would you do now? 

ABBY     What?

MARK     This is the scenario.  Right here.  What would you do?

TYLER     Sleep.

BRIANNA     Seconded.

JUSTIN     [Snoring]

MARK     Assume it's unlikely we can drive out of here - at least not conveniently.  How would you secure the room?

ABBY      [perking up]  We could set watches--

TYLER     [mumbled] Screw you!

ABBY     I can't watch all night.  Adrenaline is only good for so long.

MARK     That guy struck you that bad?

ABBY     Yeah.  I'm probably just--

MARK     Let's assume otherwise.  We have a map - of sorts - on the door there.  Take a look.

ABBY     I - well, I got the room on the end, since we'd have a better chance of seeing or hearing anyone coming. 

MARK     [chuckles]

ABBY     I can't help it.  I'm already in strategy mode.  Ok, the room has windows at the front and back and a bathroom that abuts the next room.  No windows in the end wall.  If we could keep an eye either side--

SOUND     FEET ON CARPET, CURTAIN PULLED ASIDE, THEN WHIPPED BACK INTO PLACE.

ABBY     Oh, shit.

MARK     What?

ABBY     God, I hope no one saw the light. 

MARK     I'll turn it off.  Let them think we're asleep. 

SOUND     CLICK OF SWITCH

MARK     Now?

ABBY     It's the truck - car - whatever!    The one that almost ran us off the road!

MARK     [gasps]  Are you sure?

ABBY     Come and look!

MARK     I believe you.  We need everyone if this is a real situation.  Shit.

ABBY     There's woods - cover - right out back.  If Tyler was up, he could go look.

MARK     He's not going to be up any time soon.

ABBY     I know what will-- I'm going to take a chance and get my other bag from the car.  I'll see what I can see. 

MARK     I'll try the phone--

ABBY     No!

MARK     Why?

ABBY     Switchboard - I saw a switchboard in the office. 

MARK     Shit.  Major "notice," though.  Good one.

SOUND     DOOR OPENS

MARK     Abby?

ABBY     I'll be careful.

MARK     [encouraging] I'm glad it's you.

SOUND     DOOR SOFTLY CLOSES

MARK      Shit. 

SOUND     A moment of just snoring

MUSIC      CREEPS IN, JUST A BIT

MARK     [snorty, "almost fell asleep" noise]  Abby?  What time--?  Shit. 

SOUND     WHEELCHAIR SHIFTS

MARK     [urgent hiss] Justin!  Wake up, dammit!

JUSTIN     Wha--?

MARK     Wake Up!

SOUND     DOOR OPENS QUICKLY, FEET COME IN, DOOR SHUTS AGAIN

MARK     God!  You nearly gave me a heart attack!

ABBY     Sorry - I spotted someone out in the parking lot, just after I got in the van, and I didn't want to move again until it was clear. 

JUSTIN     [almost awake] What's going on?

ABBY     I'll get Tyler up.

MARK     Go for it.  I doubt you'll have much luck.

ABBY     Ah, but I have a secret weapon - I always pack a sixer with me to gaming cons. 

SOUND     SLOSHING OF LIQUID

MARK     [almost drooling] Energy shots.

ABBY     Un-huh.  It may take a minute or two, but we'll get everyone up and running.

MUSIC

TYLER     All you had to do was shout "Bob! Bob is coming!" and I woulda been up and running without the taste of ass - Bob was the demon in the larp last weekend, and man was he--

MARK     Shush. 

EVERYONE     [Murmurs of assent]

MARK     Let's assume this is not a drill.

EVERYONE     [a bit undecided murmurs]

ABBY     I know there's something odd here.  I feel it.

JUSTIN     Are you sure you're not just jittery about the tourney?

ABBY     Probably am, but that doesn't make me think I'm wrong.

BRIANNA     [Still groggy] What do you want us to do?

MARK     Tyler, are you up for something that could be really dangerous?

TYLER     Hell yeah.

BRIANNA     [cautioning] Tyler?

TYLER     Well, how dangerous?

MARK     Abby?

ABBY     Out the back window of the room, I think I saw that armored car that nearly ran us down.  It's parked in a dark spot.  If it's really the one, and there's any chance it's the same one that was stolen, there's a good chance we've walked in on a den of thieves.  We need to know.  Can you get within range of it and have a look?

TYLER      Gimme a second.

SOUND     FEET. CURTAIN MOVES

BRIANNA     When you say "really dangerous"--?

MARK     They already killed a couple of guys during the holdup.  I can't see them hesitating at shooting a few more bystanders.

BRIANNA     Tyler?

ABBY     Bree, I've Larped with him, and if anyone can really sneak, it's Folemon.

BRIANNA     But that's his character!

ABBY     In live action games, there are things you either can do or you can't, and sneaking is‑‑

TYLER     [voice slightly different - "in character" as Folemon]  I spy the brigands' carriage.  I will hence and reconnoiter.

BRIANNA     Be careful.

TYLER     Fair maiden, with you to return to, I cannot fail.  [kiss on hand]  Douse the lanterns, lest my shadow betray me!

MUSIC

SOUND     LIGHT TAPPING NOISE, WHICH GOES ON THROUGHOUT

JUSTIN     What are you doing?

ABBY     What does it look like?  I'm checking for trap doors.

JUSTIN     You're joking.

BRIANNA     Didn't you see that movie Vacancy?  There was a trapdoor in the bathroom floor. 

ABBY     That was so annoying.  They were so stupid about that.

JUSTIN     About what?

ABBY     Did you see the movie?

JUSTIN     Well, no.

ABBY     They could have easily blocked the hatch.  But they didn't and ended up fighting guys popping up out of it.

BRIANNA     They couldn't block it - they tried.  There wasn't any heavy furniture.

ABBY     [derisive laugh]  What do you call this?

SOUND     DULL THUMP

JUSTIN     A mattress.

ABBY     Have you ever had to move one?  From a dead lift?  And if that's not enough, the trapdoor was right next to the tub - you just soak the damn thing and no one - not even Schwarzenegger--

BRIANNA     Well, back in his prime--

ABBY     Is going to be able to shift it.

JUSTIN     You ...actually ...thought about this?

ABBY     [matter of fact] It's what I do. 

SOUND     KNOCKING

BRIANNA     Lights out - it's the door. 

SOUND     SCUFFLE OF MOVEMENT

BRIANNA     Tyler?

ABBY     Folemon!

TYLER     [muffled] I return triumphant!

SOUND     DOOR OPENS AND QUICKLY SHUTS AGAIN, LOCKS

TYLER     And, I have a prize!

SOUND     TAP ON SOMETHING METAL

SOUND     LIGHT CLICKS ON

JUSTIN     What the--?

MARK     No, that's good.  If we can get to the authorities, we can prove we saw the damn thing.

JUSTIN     You coulda taken a picture - you think they're not going to notice a missing license plate?

TYLER     [chuckling, full of himself] I think they'll have other things on their mind.

ABBY     Oh, god, what did you do?

TYLER     I had my thieves tool handy--

JUSTIN     What?

BRIANNA     Pocketknife.

TYLER     So I hobbled their horses.

ABBY     We need to go now.

JUSTIN      You did what?

BRIANNA     He let the air out of their tires.  Tyler, sweetie, speak English so I can stop translating.

TYLER     Hey, what?  They won't be able to come after us--

ABBY     But they will know someone was spying on their truck.  They might not notice the plate, but--  aagh!

TYLER     I was... um... in the zone?  My character would have--

MARK     Understandable.  Let's deal with it.  Were there any other cars out there?

TYLER     Not out back. 

MARK     Justin?

JUSTIN     What?

MARK     Any other cars out front?

JUSTIN     I didn’t notice.  Sorry.

MARK     See what happens when you give up gaming?  You lose your edge.  You remember anything Abby?

ABBY     Not in the parking lot.  I can take a look.

MARK     Hold off.  What do we have for weapons, if it comes to that?

JUSTIN     Jack Shit.

ABBY     Torchiere for a club. 

BRIANNA     No - no heft.

ABBY     We can wire the doorknob as a last resort - give someone a bitch of a shock.

TYLER     Shh!

[They all do.]

SOUND     SLIGHT CRUNCH, MIGHT BE FOOT ON GRAVEL

MARK     Posts.

SOUND     VERY QUIET MOVEMENT

ABBY     Uh-uh.

BRIANNA     shit.

MARK     The front?

BRIANNA     Movement.

ABBY     Window?  Door? 

BRIANNA     Distraction.  [starts moaning, loudly - very sexy]

ABBY     Stay out the way of the window. 

BRIANNA     Uhh!  [whispered] Watching. [Up] Ohh!

TYLER     [joins in]

JUSTIN     You won't be able to hear--

ABBY     Neither will they!

SOUND     WINDOW SLIDES OPEN WITH A PROTESTING SQUEAL

ABBY     Shit.  If we're going out this way, we're doing it sharp and hard.

MARK     Out front?

TYLER     [still groaning]

BRIANNA     Someone's right outside.  Ohh! Just a shadow.  Ohh!  Peeping or about to try something.  Ohh!

JUSTIN     This is insane.  This does not happen in real life.

MARK     Look, bro- you can play along, and worst that happens is you look like an idiot with the rest of us, or you keep saying it can't be real and maybe take a bullet.  Why not play along?

JUSTIN      Shit.  What do you need me to do?  I am not joining that party.

[Moans continue intermittently]

MARK     Can you see what's at the top of the closet? Usually if there's access to an attic space, that's where it would be.

JUSTIN     Sure.

MARK     And you're tall enough.

JUSTIN     No problem.  [suddenly serious] If this is some psycho situation, you know I won't let anyone get you, right, bro?

MARK     Shithead.  Get everyone else out first!  I'm the burden - now get in the damn closet.

SOUND     CLOSET DOOR OPENS

ABBY     You're not a burden. 

MARK     Physically, I'm a drag on the party.

ABBY     Mentally, you're the only one keeping us together.  So you can just shut up.

MARK     OK, shutting.

BRIANNA     He's making a move.

MARK     Shit. 

SOUND     KNOCK ON THE DOOR

BRIANNA     [loud] Ooh!  Oh, shit!  Huh?

TYLER     [loud] What the fuck?

MARK     Abby?  Where are we?

ABBY     Tyler, get behind the door. Ready to slam it if you gotta.

TYLER     Check.

SOUND     KNOCK AGAIN

ABBY     Brianna, the torchiere, stay below the window, trip anyone coming in.

BRIANNA     On it.

SOUND      KNOCKING INSISTENT

ABBY     [trying to make up her mind] Door - wall - wall - door.  Shit! [deep breath, then calling out] What?

SOUND     SHIFTING FURNITURE

CLARK     You all right in there?

ABBY     What?

CLARK     I heard a noise.

JUSTIN     [whispered] See?  Normal.

ABBY     No.  At the very least, he's peeping.  No way he'd hear anything from the office.  [up]  Everything's fine.  We were watching a movie. 

MARK     Good one.

JUSTIN     Oh, this is idiotic.

SOUND     WALKS, UNLOCKS AND FLINGS OPEN DOOR

TYLER     Hey!

ABBY     No!

SOUND     GUNSHOT, BODY DROP

JUSTIN     [screams in pain]

SOUND     DOOR SLAMS

CLARK     [screams in pain]

ABBY     Bree, can you get the lock, without getting in front of the door - it's crap, but--

BRIANNA     Done.  Justin - is he--?

SOUND     LOCK FUMBLED SHUT

JUSTIN     [sounds more annoyed than hurt] I'm shot.

ABBY     At least now we know it's not a drill. 

SOUND     GUNSHOT, WINDOW SHATTERS

ABBY     Down!

SOUND     BODIES FALL, WHEELCHAIR RATTLES AND TIPS

MARK     Get him.  I'll cover Justin.

SOUND     CAUTIOUS STEP ON BROKEN GLASS

ABBY     [scream, distracting him]

SOUND     FEET TURN ON THE GLASS, GUNSHOT

ABBY     Bree!

BRIANNA     Yaaaah! 

SOUND     THUMP - BODY DROPS

CLARK     Yowtch!

ABBY     Sit on that bastard.  Tyler, check for backup?

SOUND     HEAVY CRUNCH ON GLASS

CLARK     [Whimper]

TYLER     On it.

SOUND     CAR STARTING

TYLER     Oh shit - he's in for a surprise.  Front's clear.

JUSTIN     You seem to all be ignoring the fact that I've been shot.

MARK     I've been applying pressure.

JUSTIN     To my mouth.

MARK     oh, yeah, I was supposed to be stopping the part that got shot, not the part that shot off, right.

ABBY     Brianna, swap - you take a look at Justin, see if we can move him.  I'll hold down the ...fort.

TYLER     Fart.

[Snickers all around.]

CLARK     [Moans, then grunts when Abby turns him over]

SOUND     CRACKLE OF GLASS UNDER HIS BODY

ABBY     Need something to tie him with. 

TYLER     Gotcha.  Thieves tools to the rescue again.

SOUND     RIPPING FABRIC - GOES ON FOR A WHILE

BRIANNA     Tyler, toss me your flint and steel.

SOUND     CATCH, THEN FLASHLIGHT COMES ON

BRIANNA     Looks superficial.  I was hoping I knocked you down quickly enough, but I wasn't sure.

JUSTIN     I've been shot.

BRIANNA     Yes, but not badly.  I'll bandage it in a second.

TYLER     Here's your fifty feet of rope...

ABBY     Check the back?

TYLER     I am fleet enough to be in all places at once.

SOUND     ENGINE STOPS

TYLER     Oh.

ABBY     [grunts as she ties a knot]  OK, shithead.  Talk.

CLARK     What?

ABBY     Well, we have your gun.  And a pocketknife.  You want to choose which one I do you over with?

CLARK     What?  I was just--

ABBY     Shooting in through our door?

CLARK     I thought you were -

TYLER     Shut up.

ABBY     No, let him talk.  I want to hear this.

CLARK     Nothing.

ABBY     Oh, well.  How many friends you got out there?

CLARK     None.

ABBY     So that's Christine out back?  Or are you Knight Rider?

CLARK     Ow!  No - No!  Stop!

JUSTIN     Let me.  I'm the one he shot.

CLARK     No!  There's just the two - and B-Ball's shot.

ABBY     Anyone else?

JUSTIN     Is this what you were doing?

CLARK     OWWW!  No, no one!

ABBY     What about the real clerk?

CLARK     Oh - um -

ABBY     Right.  We need to dump this guy somewhere.

TYLER     Out back? 

ABBY     Chances are, we can get out the front.

JUSTIN     Chances?  I don't want--

ABBY     No worries.  Tyler - eyes on the back until I signal, OK?

TYLER      Sure thing.

BRIANNA     What now?

ABBY     We do what we have to do.  Mark, you ready to take a chance?

MUSIC

SOUND     OUTSIDE - DOOR OPENS

SOUND     WHEELCHAIR BUMPS NOISILY OUT THE DOOR

ABBY     No shots.  Good.  We're moving out.  Justin, you're behind me and the chair - get your ass into the car and start it.  We'll pile in, peel out, and worry about belts and seats later.

JUSTIN     Are you sure this is safe?

ABBY     Nope.  Tyler?  Got the rear?

TYLER     Got it.

ABBY      Bree, you're first in.  I'll cover you.

SOUND     GUN CLICKS READY

BRIANNA     Check.  Hold tight!

SOUND     WHEELCHAIR GRINDS ALONG THE GROUND

TYLER     He's coming! 

ABBY     Everyone - Move!  Justin - get it in gear!

JUSTIN      Yeah...

SOUND     JINGLE OF KEYS, THEY DROP TO THE GROUND

JUSTIN     Shit!

ABBY     Dammit!  Bree, get your ass to the other side of the car!

SOUND     HEAVY FEET RUNNING ON GRAVEL

TYLER     I'll--

SOUND     GUNSHOT

ABBY     You'll go.  Move it.  I'll cover you.  [solemn] Don't fumble the keys.

TYLER     I won't.

SOUND     RUNNING FEET TAKE OFF ACROSS THE GRAVEL, snatch up the keys.

SOUND     GUNSHOT

ABBY     [Gasps as she shoots]  Damn, that's a kick.

SOUND     GUNSHOT

SOUND     CAR DOOR OPENS

ABBY     Yessss!

SOUND     ABBY SHOOTS

SOUND     SIDE DOOR SLIDES OPEN

ABBY     [yelling] Stop shooting at the crip, you scumbag!  You'll be sorry!

SOUND     WHEELCHAIR MOVES SLOWLY, ODD FOOTSTEPS AS ABBY CROUCHES BEHIND IT

ABBY     Nice to have friends, isn't it?

SOUND     GUNSHOT

ABBY     [yelling] You really should stop that! 

THUG     [evil laugh]

ABBY     I told him.

TYLER     Come on!

ABBY     Bye-bye

SOUND     WHEELCHAIR PUSHED, ROLLS

SOUND     GUNSHOT

SOUND     GRUNT OF PAIN [CLARK]

SOUND     RUNNING FEET

SOUND     CAR REVVING

SOUND     JUMP

SOUND     GUNSHOT, PINGS OFF METAL OF CAR

TYLER     [grunting to pull her in] Come on!

SOUND     CAR MOVES, FEET DRAG

BRIANNA     Here.

SOUND     GRAB, DRAG

ABBY     [grunting]

SOUND     DOOR SLAMS

SOUND     TIRES SPIN IN GRAVEL, CAR ZOOMS OFF

ABBY     [sigh] OK, whose lap am I in?

MARK     Mine.  Sorry about that.

ABBY     Hey, we're all here, no one got shot--

JUSTIN     I did!

MARK     And we had to dump my chair...

ABBY     No one got killed, and we're back on the road.  I'm gonna feel like shit for the tourney, but who gives a crap?  [giggles]

[All join in the hysterical relieved laughter.]

MUSIC

SOUND     OUTSIDE ROAD - MORNING NOISES

ABBY     [waking up noises, suddenly awake with a gasp]

MARK     [whispering]  Shh.  It's ok--

SOUND     RUSTLE AS SHE TRIES TO SIT UP

ABBY     Was it - It was a dream?

MARK     Hell no.  But once you passed out, we figured you deserved it.  Let you sleep.

ABBY     Oh...

MARK     Hey Justin?  When's the next bathroom?

BRIANNA     And a phone.

JUSTIN     Like anyone's gonna believe us. 

BRIANNA     You did get shot.

TYLER      And I still have my trophy.

SOUND     PING AGAINST METAL OF LICENSE PLATE

MARK     Shh.  Abby's out again. 

ABBY     Hmm?  [rousing herself] Like hell!  Justin?  Crank the music!!

END