Mar 16, 2023
PromEvil takes you to that most horrifying of places - HIGH SCHOOL. On prom night, naturally. And something horrible is about to come out of the woodshop, and we don't mean Hal in his school mascot costume....
A lot of people put their heart and soul into producing this memorable event:
Hal - Mathias Rebne-Morgan
Lyn - Molly Tollefson
Todd - Eli Nilsson
Gee - Melissa Bartell
Barb - Beverly Poole
Andy - Mike Campbell
Bud - Jasper Loovis
Tina - Chandra Wade
Missy - Jade Thomson
Jake - Michael Faigenblum
other students - Sky Iolta, Shelbi MacIntyre, Henry Mark
Principal Peabody - Reynaud LeBoeuf
Mr. Ervin Carpel, Woodshop - Gene Thorkildsen
Ms. Angela Wellesly, Crafts - Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard
Mrs. Snodgrass, Lunchroom - Robyn Keyes
P.A. Announcements - Julie Hoverson
Rent-a-cop Bob - The Caretaker
Cop 1 - Glen Hallstrom
Cop 2 - Joel Harvey
911 Voice - Julie Hoverson
Writer - Julie Hoverson
Doll Wranglers - Julie Hoverson, Kimberly Poole (Warp'd Space)
Sound and Mastering - Julie Hoverson
Stock sound effects - Soundsnap.com; sonomic.com
Music - Prom - Sinkhole
Music - background - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
AMB BUSY HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY
P.A. VOICE Don't forget! It's your last chance to pick up those prom tickets! Show your Polk high Spirit! Polky says - don't drink and drive!
AMB FADE IN ON WOOD SHOP
SOUND HEAVY DISTINCTIVE TICKING CLOCK IN THE WOOD SHOP
CARPEL [off] All right, um, kids. Let's start finishing up--
BUD You up for prom tonight?
HAL Gotta be there. School spirit and all.
BUD Ew, Hal, you're not bringing ..."IT"?
HAL It's my job, Bud. Polky lives.
CARPEL [off] Let's get everything put--
SOUND BELL RINGS
SOUND CLATTER OF STUFF JUST BEING LEFT ON TABLES
CARPEL --Away. [sigh]
SOUND MASS EXODUS
HAL Bud! Dude! [exasperated noise]
SOUND GATHERS UP TOOLS
SOUND KNOCK ON DOORFRAME
TODD Mr. Carpel?
SOUND SLAMMING BRIEFCASE SHUT
CARPEL [ow!] Damn! [composing himself] This... it's my break, Todd.
TODD I just wanted to see... her.
SOUND TAP ON GLASS CABINET
TODD [almost silent] Hi!
TODD She-- They can come home soon, right?
CARPEL After tonight, they can do...I mean, YOU...can...do whatever you want with them. ... Her. It.
SOUND SCRABBLE OF FEET
CARPEL Go on now. I'm not...done... grading. Scoot scoot.
TODD Right. [almost silent] Bye!
CARPEL [sigh of relief]
HAL [clears his throat]
CARPEL [startled] Ahh!
HAL Sorry. I was just putting away...
CARPEL Of course, of course. Go on now.
HAL Right. They're really pretty great, you have to admit.
HAL The carvings.
SOUND LIGHT TAP ON GLASS
HAL I woulda gone for it, but I don't have the patience. Or the carving skillz--
CARPEL Right, right - just please--
HAL Got it! Evaporate.
SOUND FEET, DOOR SLAMS
CARPEL [sigh, of extreme relief]
SOUND LOCKER CLOSES
LYN [sigh] OK, nothing happens. Surprise!
BARB It's coming. What? You're all hot to go study? It's party night, Lyn. Loosen up.
A moment, then--
BARB Jake! You're SO late!
LYN Huh? Jake--?
BARB Mmm. Come here!
SOUND LONG SMOOCHING
LYN But, Barb--! Barb! Barb?
SOUND SMOOCHING ENDS
JAKE [catching his breath] Hey. So, What's the deal?
BARB This is my cousin, Lyn.
LYN [panicky] uh, yeah.
JAKE Hey, Lyn. I--
BARB [sudden rush] I was telling her all about you, and she's just [as if she's looking for something] ...dying ...to meet ...you. [angry sigh] [shrill] Anyway. She doesn't have a date for tonight, so I--
ANDY [coming in] Whoa. What the hell's up?
BARB Aha! Jake? You know Andy.
LYN [this is ugly] Ohh!
ANDY What's up with this? What--
BARB I meant to tell you earlier, Andy, but you weren't picking up--
ANDY I don't got my cell on me at practice--
BARB [flippant] Andy... it's over--
ANDY Over? It's not over until--
JAKE Oh yeah?
BARB So you'll have to find yourself a new "bunny". Right Jake?
ANDY You bitch! You said--
BARB For prom.
ANDY But, Prom's TONIGHT!
BARB Sorry. [she's not] Not my problem. Come on, stud muffins.
SOUND THEY START TO WALK AWAY
LYN [rueful] Barb. Jeez.
BARB [over her shoulder] Lyn's free tonight.
ANDY [to himself] Fine! [to Lyn, muttered] I got tickets, wanna go?
LYN I'm really sorry she--
ANDY C'mon...don't make me waste 'em.
LYN [tsks] Fine.
ANDY See you in the gym? Gotta get back to the field.
SOUND HE TROTS OFF
LYN Right. Bye.
GEE [coming on, whispering] Extra, extra - read all about it. Dumped jock falls for head of debate team.
LYN I've already had my heart attack for the day, thanks, Gee.
GEE No hearts were injured in the filming of this--
LYN I don't even have a dress.
GEE [mock serious] Wanna shock everyone? You could be my date. [goofy kissy noise]
SOUND BELL RINGS, THEY START DASHING
LYN Come on! [hustling] Barb'll have a plan.
GEE [keeping up] Oh, yeah. That'll be good.
SOUND BELL RINGS
SOUND STUDENTS POUR OUT - END OF DAY
SOUND LOCKERS BEING OPENED
STUDENTS [conversations about the prom tonight]
SOUND DOOR CREAKS OPEN
CARPEL Oh, um... [hoarse] Miss, um, Francis! [clears his throat] Miss Francis!
MISSY Yes? Something I can do for you, Mr. Carpel? ["CAR-pull"]
CARPEL [irritable, automatic] That's Carpel. ["car-PELL"] [clears his throat again] I, um, I could use some advice... Could you step in for a moment?
MISSY [unsuspecting] Um, sure. What do you need?
CARPEL [lying] I have this niece, and it's her birthday, and I want a, um, well, a young woman's opinion of the present I bought for her. It will just take a moment, um, if you can spare the time?
MISSY [indulgently] Oh, sure.
AMB OUTSIDE, STUDENTS, TRAFFIC, ETC.
STUDENTS [lots of chatter about prom]
BUD Life's almost over...what do you plan to do once YOU graduate?
HAL Not a clue. Dad says I've got-- [apes dad's voice] ..."no ambition, no drive." I guess he's right. I just don't have a burning desire to DO anything with my life...
[LYN AND BARB PASS BY - FADING IN AND THEN OUT]
BARB --taffeta underskirt - but not too long, you know? I was all like, how can I possibly dance in that?
LYN I don't dance.
BARB Let me finish! Sides, I want to show off the adorable prada pumps--
HAL [heavy sigh] Except...
BUD [Following the look] Ex-cept? Still got the hots for that brain?
HAL She's not a brain, just smart..."Brains" look down on the rest of us, and Lyn...she can be really nice. Not like the barbies you date.
BUD Nothing wrong with dumb girls‑‑
HAL Takes one to know one.
AMB WOOD SHOP
MISSY Ooh! Is this what the woodcarving class has been working on! Wow! Look at her teensy little hands!
SOUND TAP ON GLASS
CARPEL [getting more and more nervous] Ahem. It's just over here, Missy.
MISSY Oh, right!
SOUND PAPER GIFT BAG FULL OF TISSUE SET ON DESK
CARPEL I hope this is something a... young lady would like.
MISSY Let's see.
SOUND BAG RUSTLES
SOUND SOMETHING PICKED UP ON WORKBENCH
MISSY What is it?
SOUND RUMMAGING IN TISSUE
SOUND HAMMER BROUGHT DOWN ON HER HEAD.
SOUND BODY DROP
SOUND FEET RUN TO DOOR, LOCK IT
CARPEL [breathing heavily, panicky]
BUD Ask her.
HAL Nah. Polky goes stag.
BUD Buy a clue, Hal...school mascot never gets laid. 'sides, running around as a big purple - what the hell is Polky, anyway?
HAL Polky is the Polk high polka-dot.
BUD Ri-i-ight. Well...let's just say it ain't gonna get you a job.
HAL Scoff all you want. If I work real hard, someday I could be a giant cell phone at the mall.
BUD Hark! The wolverine has left the lamb unguarded--
HAL Barb's gone? Where?
BUD She probably went to pee on some poor guy. Mark her territory--
HAL [speculative] Maybe I will.... [grunts as he gets up, then fading] What's the worst that could happen?
SOUND CREAK OF BACKPACK
CARPEL [still wheezing]
SOUND ASTHMA INHALER
CARPEL [Deep breath, then an exaggerated one] Clear the mind. [half another breath, cuts off with] Oh, crap! Clear the desk!
SOUND EVERYTHING BEING SWEPT OFF THE DESK
MISSY [groan, hit by something]
CARPEL Oh no! No, no! Come here, you! [grunts as he gets a grip on her]
MISSY [groans again]
CARPEL And U-U-U-U-U-P! [grunts]
SOUND THUMPS [humorous bit, with him trying to get her onto the desk, finally]
CARPEL [breathing heavily]
CARPEL [whispering, afraid to wake her] no! Nononono! Stay down! [a moment of breathing] Good. [a demented whisper of a chuckle]
SOUND ROPE BEING UNROLLED
CARPEL [to self] need about... hmm... three yards for the feet, and--
SOUND KNOCK AT THE DOOR
CARPEL [startled to death] Ahh!
SOUND EVERYTHING DROPS, ENDING WITH A GOOFY CLATTER
TODD [off] Mr. Carpel? Um, are you there?
SOUND DOORKNOB RATTLES
SOUND ROPE MOVES AGAIN, BEGINS TO BE KNOTTED
CARPEL [barely able to breath] Go away, Todd. I'm busy. Come back tomorrow.
CARPEL [frustrated noise!]
TODD [off] I just wanted to...to check on my project.
SOUND KNOT TIED TIGHTLY
CARPEL You got an A. Now go away!
TODD [off] I...um...Well, all right.
SOUND SECOND KNOT CREAKS
MISSY [sharp moan]
CARPEL [muttered] Better not hit her again... a gag! Yes, um... oh, no that's filthy... um... [catches himself and starts to laugh hysterically]
CARPEL [worried noise] Ahh!
SOUND TISSUE PAPER GRABBED AND SHOVED INTO MOUTH
CARPEL That should do it. Now.
SOUND BOOK CREAKS OPEN, PAGES FLIP
SOUND FUMBLING WITH GLASSES
CARPEL [reading from a list] Five black candles check. Oil. Salt. Knife, oh yes.
SOUND PULLS THE THINGS OUT AS HE NAMES THEM, SETS KNIFE DOWN, AND IT CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR.
HAL [to self] Um, hi Lyn! No. [mister slick] "Hey. Prom? Yeah." No. Uh! [grunt as he's shoved aside]
BARB [disparaging noise] Walk much? [to Lyn] It's all arranged.
LYN How could you--?
BARB What? So I helped you. Have a cow.
LYN HELPED me? You--
BARB Selflessly gave you my ex‑. Isn't there an award for that? Oh, get that out of my face!
GEE What? Oh, sorry, right, if you cross a witch with your shadow, she loses her power over you.
SOUND UMBRELLA COLLAPSES
BARB What-ever. Lyn. Walk.
HAL Oh, darnit.
SOUND [OFF] UMBRELLA UP AGAIN
GEE Oh, jeez! Sorry!
HAL No.. no worries. [defeated sigh]
GEE [tsks merrily]
LYN But you...like...Andy?
BARB Of course I do. This is just for tonight.
GEE [catching up] Let me guess. You fixed him up with Lyn so he wouldn't get snatched up by someone more like...hmm...You? ...at prom.
BARB [snide] Coming from someone who carries a black umbrella and only dates on-line.
GEE It's a parasol, and I'll still have a complexion when I'm 40!
BARB Oh, yeah? That white makeup will suck all your vitamin D!
GEE Lizard neck!
LYN Gee, leave off, OK?
GEE [exasperated sigh]
BARB [muttered] Little "Bite-Me Barbie".
LYN You leave off too.
AMB WOOD SHOP
SOUND HEAVY CANDLE SET DOWN
CARPEL Five. Lit counterclockwise, um...
SOUND CLOCK TICKS FOR A MINUTE
MISSY [moans, then starts to wake, tries to scream around the tissue]
CARPEL [more whiny than scary] I'll hit you again if I have to.
SOUND TURNS A PAGE
CARPEL Circle of chicken blood.
SOUND LID UNSCREWS ON PLASTIC BOTTLE, RATTLES AWAY
MISSY [SCREAMS AROUND THE PAPER]
SOUND HAL DROPS HIS PACK, THEN SITS
HAL Psyche 101. [grunts as he sits]
HAL Psyche 101...I could be a shrink, right?
BUD Yeah, right.
HAL Maybe I could specialize in abnormal psychology...you could be my first case study.
BUD Or him.
TODD [muttering] I just wanted to see her, and give her this heart - it's just the right size--
SOUND RATTLE OF TINY NECKLACE CHAIN
BUD The resident wood shop mad genius?
BOB [calling from off] Ooh, it's Todd...hey, did Barbie ever return your calls?
FRED [calling from off] Maybe he's taking Chatty Kathy to the dance tonight.
BOB [calling from off] A blow-up doll'd be a better choice, Todd...at least then you'd have a chance of getting a little.
TODD [still muttered] Laurel's not a doll, she's a statue. She's ART.
GEE Leave off, you scrotes.
FRED I vanda suckya blood!
GEE You wouldn't know what to DO with my blood.
AMB WOOD SHOP
SOUND LIQUID POURING onto floor
SOUND ROPES CREAK AS SHE STRUGGLES
TODD [muttering] Laurel is perfect. I made her that way, and she understands me--[gasp]
SOUND THUD AS HE RUNS INTO BARB
BARB [uh!] Dweeb. Get some glasses. [back to Lyn] I'll even get you a dress. It won't be Vogue, but...
SOUND CELL PHONE BEING DIALED
LYN [weakening] But I don't want a dress. I really ...Barb...I don't like this.
BARB No problem, really.
BARB I'd loan you one of mine, but it wouldn't fit. Like a basketball hoop catching tennis balls.
LYN [very uncomfortable noise] Umm.
BARB Jeez. Missy's not picking up. Wonder who she's doing?
AMB WOOD SHOP
SOUND SCRAPE OF KNIFE BEING PICKED UP
SOUND CELL PHONE MUSIC
SOUND KNIFE CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR
CARPEL What the--? Oh, heavens!
SOUND RUMMAGING THROUGH HER PURSE, VARIOUS THINGS TOSSED ONTO FLOOR, SOMETHING SQUEAKS AS IT HITS
SOUND FINALLY FINDS PHONE, PUSHES BUTTONS, BUT NOTHING WILL STOPS IT, FINALLY THROWS IT AGAINST WALL AND STOMPS ON IT
SOUND PHONE DIES
SOUND ASTHMA INHALER
LYN All right! I'll...I can borrow a dress from Jean...we wear the same size.
BARB Your little sister? She's a baby, how could she have a decent dress?
LYN Who else is my mom gonna dress up? Me?
CARPEL CHANTS AGAIN
SOUND BOOK CREAKS OPEN
SOUND KNIFE PICKED UP OFF FLOOR WITH SCRAPE
MISSY [struggling weakly]
SOUND SUDDENLY, LUNGES, PLUNGES KNIFE INTO MISSY WITH HORRIBLE SQUISHY NOISE. GRINDS IT AROUND A BIT, MAKING SURE SHE'S DEAD
MISSY [death rattle]
CARPEL [breathing heavily]
SOUND WIPES SWEAT OFF HIS FACE, THEN REACTS AS HE REALIZES HE JUST SMEARED BLOOD ALL OVER HIMSELF.
SOUND DASH TO SINK, RUNS WATER
AMB OUTSIDE, BUT AWAY FROM PEOPLE
TODD [muttering to self] I spent so much time carving her. I know the project called for raw wood, no paint, but now that they're graded and everything, there's nothing wrong with a little embellishment.
SOUND DELICATE NECKLACE CHAIN
TODD Gold will suit her dark grain. Oh Laurel!
AMB WOOD SHOP
SOUND TAPS TURNED OFF
CARPEL Right. The blood.
SOUND METAL BOWL OUT OF BAG, CATCHES DRIPS
CARPEL Almost done now. [ecstatic] And then they'll see! They'll all see!
SOUND DRIPPING SLOWS
CARPEL No, no, I need more.... I think I need more! Oh! Here.
SOUND CUTS A ROPE, ROLLS BODY ONTO ITS SIDE
SOUND GUSHY NOISES, MORE DRIPPING
CARPEL There we go! That's about enough.
SOUND DRIPPING CONTINUES, BODY FLOPS
SOUND SHOVE BODY, IT ROLLS WITH A GUSHY NOISE
CARPEL Sorry about that, Missy, but it had to be done. I wish you'd just stayed unconscious. Wouldn't have been so awful for you.
SOUND SETS DOWN SLOSHY BOWL
SOUND OPENS GLASS DOOR OF CASE
CARPEL [chanting again]
SOUND PICKS UP BOWL
SOUND LIQUID BEING POURED
AMB GYM [EVERYTHING ECHOES]
SOUND SOUND CHECK IN BACKGROUND
SOUND QUICK STRIDES ACROSS WOOD FLOOR
HAL --it's in the band locker. You gotta let me in.
PEABODY [over his shoulder] The school is locked up for the night. Besides, the old one's in the drama loft...use it.
HAL But it's a piece of crap! The foam rubber's all gone to dust...you can't even breathe in the darn thing.
PEABODY You only have to wear it during the announcements. Surely you weren't planning to parade around in the ludicrous mascot costume all night?
HAL [clearly disappointed] Guess not.
PEABODY Quickly, then...
CARPEL [The chant ends.]
SOUND CREAKING OF WOOD
[NOTE] ESTABLISH THE DISTINCTIVE SOUND OF EACH OF THE DOLLS - LAUREL, ahhhh noises; LEDERHOSEN GUY, EVIL CHUCKLE; MONKEYHEAD, SCREECHES; SURFER DUDE, LONG DUH; AND THE MAJORETTE, RHYTHMIC CLICKING SOUNDS.
CARPEL It worked! They live!
SOUND LIQUID POURING
SOUND FEET ON STEP LADDER
ANGELA Hand me the tape, Marge?
SNODGRASS Do I look like someone with three hands?
ANGELA [to herself] No, you look like a shaved bulldog in a safety orange muumuu.
SOUND POURING STOPS
ANGELA [covering] Just admiring your dress!
SNODGRASS [taking it seriously] It ain't just anybody can wear this color. You were looking for tape?
SOUND TAPPING OF DOLL FEET AS THEY CLIMB DOWN
CARPEL You are mine! My servants! My revenge!
SOUND WOODEN FEET AS THEY HOP DOWN
LEDERHOSEN GUY EVIL CHUCKLE
SOUND MOVED QUICKLY TOWARD CARPEL
CARPEL No! No! Not me! You're supposed to obey me! Stop!
SOUND PAGING THROUGH BOOK
CARPEL Obey me! You're my minions!
SOUND THE DOLLS ATTACK. TRIP CARPEL, PUMMEL HIM.
CARPEL What are you doing with that awl! You could put an eye out-- [ahh! Gurgle, whiny death noises]
SOUND FUTILE POUNDING OF TINY FISTS ON LOCKED DOOR
END OF PART 1