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19 Nocturne Boulevard


19 Nocturne Boulevard is an award-winning anthology audio drama series that ran from 2008 through 2013, and then went into deep hibernation.

STILL working on that Comeback!!

Also the creator of Fatal Girl, Bingo the Birthday Clown, The Deadeye Kid, The Lovecraft 5, The Prisoner of Hancock House, The Decadence of Borrowed Silk, Eternal Dusk Roulette, and Atomic Julie's Galactic Bedtime Stories.                                                        Join our awesome Patreon supporters!

Oct 27, 2022

A girl living in a haunted house must find a way to protect her way of life..

Written and produced by Julie Hoverson

Cast List
Eden - Jaiden Douwes
Henry - Danar Hoverson
Callandra - Julie Hoverson
Frederick! - Reynaud LeBoeuf
Ethan - Scott Douwes
Mrs. Sherman - Angela Kirby
Garth Sherman - Luke LeBoeuf
News - Suzanne Dunn
Henry's Mom - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard

Music by Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com)
Sound mastering:  Julie Hoverson
Cover Design:  Dennis Hager 

"What kind of a place is it? Why it's an old brownstone home, can't you tell?  Where else would you expect to find
... a couple of ghosts?

***************************************************************

A Ghost of a Chance

 

Cast:

Eden Anderson, precocious 11-year old

Ethan Anderson, her dead father, 47

Callandra O'Doul, dead Irish maidservant, 20

Henry Torrence, burglar, 23

Frederick Ferryman, dead actor, 40s-50s

Ms. Sherman, CPS, 32

Garth Sherman, her son, a bully, 13

News [anything]

OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a big old brownstone, can't you tell?  Where else would you find a ghost or two?

SCENE 1 – coming home

MUSIC

SOUNDS    MODERN STREET NOISE. 

SOUND    WE FOLLOW THROUGH A CREAKY GATE.  STREET NOISE QUIETS A BIT.  FOOTSTEPS ON LEAVES, THEN ON WOOD PORCH.  KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS PASS THROUGH.

 

SCENE 2 – HALLWAY AND KITCHEN

EDEN    Hey!  I'm home!

SOUND    BACKPACK FLUNG ONTO TABLE.  DOOR SHUTS AND IS CAREFULLY LOCKED.

CALLANDRA    You're going to have to do some shopping soon, miss.  We're almost out of soap powder.

EDEN    [sigh] I'll put it on the list. 

SOUND    FOOTSTEPS, THEY HESITATE, THEN STOP

EDEN    What?  Move it.  I'm tired.

CALLANDRA    [evasive] You're looking a mite peaked.  You could use a bite to eat.  Come into the kitchen and have some soup.

EDEN    [slightly suspicious] O-kay... 

SOUND    MODERN JAZZ, PLAYED LOW, SLIGHTLY MUFFLED

EDEN    Dad's not at the videos again is he?

SOUND    OPENING CUPBOARDS, CANS BEING PULLED OUT AND PLACED ON THE COUNTER

CALLANDRA    [not quite convincing] No.

EDEN    Then why don't you want me to go upstairs?

SOUND    POP TOP ON CAN, SOUP INTO BOWL

CALLANDRA    Whatever gave you that idea--?

EDEN    Oh, please.

CALLANDRA    Can I not just be concerned about you?  Someone has to be!

SOUND    MICROWAVE OPENS, FOOD IN, SETTING TIME

EDEN    I'm fine.

SOUND    TURNS ON MICROWAVE

MUSIC

 

SCENE 3 – A BIT LATER

AMBIANCE    TELEVISION PLAYS LOW IN THE BACKGROUND

News    ....was stolen from the J.J. Holdings museum at the university today.  The vase is attributed to the school of Cellini, and has been valued at nearly half a million dollars.

SOUND    CELLPHONE DIALS, RINGS, PICKS UP

EDEN    Hey Ariel.  ... Nothing.  Look, I've been thinking about--

SOUND    THUMPING ON CEILING

EDEN    --trying out... for...  Can you wait a minute, Ariel?

SOUND    HOLD BUTTON IS PRESSED

SOUND     DOOR OPENS.  STEPS INTO FOYER, SLIGHT ECHO

SOUND    THUMPING FROM ABOVE.  A COUPLE OF RAPID STEPS.

SOUND    [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING]

CALLANDRA    Oh no, miss. 

EDEN    Yeah?  Stop me.  It's not dad - I can hear his computer going, and it's not you, since you're right here.  Maybe Frederick?  [yelling] Frederick?

CALLANDRA    [worried] Oh...

SOUND    [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING]

FREDERICK    [overly theatrical, as always] Enter stage right.  Yeeeees? 

CALLANDRA    See, it's all gone now--

SOUND    THUMPING FROM ABOVE

CALLANDRA     [dismay] Ooh!

EDEN    [grim] What is it?

FREDERICK    Shall I make a recon, my young commander?

EDEN    Oh! Shoot!

SOUND    BEEP ON PHONE

EDEN    Gotta call you back, Ariel.  Yeah, it's dad. 

SOUND    PHONE HANGS UP

EDEN    Callandra?  You want to explain--

SOUND    DOORBELL RINGS.  WHOOSH [GHOSTS LEAVING]

EDEN    [exasperated sound]  Uuh!

SOUND    STAMPING FEET, CHAIN LOCK GOES ON

EDEN    [sighs]

SOUND    DOOR OPENS

EDEN    [sweetly] Yes? 

  1. SHERMAN Good evening. Are your parents around?

EDEN    My father is asleep.  He hasn't been feeling very well.

  1. SHERMAN I think he'll want to speak to me.

FREDERICK    [whisper]  Why?  Is she covered in chocolate?

EDEN    [gritted teeth]  Maybe when he's feeling better.  Can he call you?

  1. SHERMAN Here's my card.

EDEN    Oh.

CALLANDRA    What's C-P-S?  Does that mean she's with the coppers?

EDEN    What's this about?  I would invite you in, but--

  1. SHERMAN No, I understand. Safety first.  [serious] There's been a complaint.

EDEN    By who? 

FREDERICK    [booming voice] Whom.

EDEN    I mean - by whom?

  1. SHERMAN I'll discuss all that with your father. Please do have him call me.  [going off] All my info's on the card.

EDEN    [calling] Thanks - uh - Ms. Sherman.

SOUND    DOOR SHUTS

EDEN    Oh, shoot!

CALLANDRA    Now, it's not that bad.  Is it?

FREDERICK    Of course it is.  CPS are the child police service.  They arrest bad little children.

CALLANDRA    The devil you say!  Oh, Eden, tell me darling!  They won’t arrest you!

EDEN    They don't - but they do take children away from the wrong type of home environment.

CALLANDRA    [relieved] Ohhh!  We're safe enough then.

EDEN    [as if] Ri-ight.

SOUND    THUMPING

EDEN    Are you going to tell me, or do I just get to find out for myself?

CALLANDRA    Oh, my stars...

MUSIC

 

SCENE 4 - UPSTAIRS

SOUND     DOOR UNLOCKS, OPENS

HENRY    [gasps] Jeez!  About flipping time!  You ever hear of unlawful imprisonment?

EDEN    I've heard of burglary.

HENRY    You're kinda small for a cop.

EDEN    [exasperated noise] Dude.  You can come out now, but just so you know, I've got a taser.

SOUND    SLOW FOOTSTEPS

EDEN    [gasps, shocked] You look like--!

HENRY    Got my hands up, all that.  [quoting] Don't tase me, [ending lamely] uh, bro.

SOUND    A COUPLE MORE STEPS, THEN

HENRY    [grunt as he lunges at her]

SOUND    SCUFFLE.  FALLING FURNITURE, SOMETHING BREAKS, THEN...

FREDERICK    [unearthly wail]

HENRY     [screams, then gibbers until noted]

SOUND    SOMETHING SMALL CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR

EDEN    I hate when you do that!  That is so gross!  [tsk, annoyed sigh] You coulda left your head on...

FREDERICK    [huffy] It was effective.

EDEN    [sigh]  You.  What's your name?

HENRY    [gibbering]  ...head came off, and cold, so cold!

SOUND    SLAP

HENRY    [sharp intake of breath] Wha-ah-ah?

EDEN    Your name, mister burglar.

HENRY    Henry.  Henry Torrence.  [whispered] What the heck was that?

EDEN    A ghost.  Now, Mister Torrence, I suppose I'm gonna have to tie you up or something, so you don't try and jump me again--

HENRY    Howzabout just letting me - ya know - go?

EDEN    You broke in.  I have to do something, and I really don't want to have to deal with the cops - they'll bother dad.

HENRY    Look, I never hurt no one, I ain't the type.  I swear!

EDEN    Still...  I think you need to stay locked up for a while. 

CALLANDRA    Can I keep him?  Please?  I caught him!

FREDERICK    Shut up woman, we may be able to use this fellow's services.

EDEN    [ordering] March!  I'll put you somewhere better than that closet, but you better stay put or -

FREDERICK    Boooooo!

HENRY    [gasps]

EDEN    [unenthusiastically] Yeah, that.  Boo.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 5 - DOWNSTAIRS

CALLANDRA    What do you plan to do with him?  Please say I can have him for me own - he's such a fine specimen of a man.

EDEN    If you keep him, I have to feed him.

CALLANDRA    Well... not necessarily...

EDEN    No.  No.  No.  I'm not having any more ghosts around here.

CALLANDRA    You never let me have any fun!

EDEN    Besides, didn't you notice the resemblance?

CALLANDRA    To a man?

SOUND    WHOOSH, FF ENTERS

FREDERICK    Our dear Callandra never looked above his [mocking her accent] "luuuvly broad shoulders!"

CALLANDRA    Bite your tongue, Frederick!  I still have those clippings of yours, and you will sorely regret having a jape at my expense--

EDEN    Shut up! 

MUSIC

 

SCENE 6 – BREAKFAST IN BED

SOUND    MORNING BIRD NOISES

SOUND    MUFFLED THUMP, RATTLE AT DOORKNOB

HENRY    [yawns, waking]

SOUND    CHAIN RATTLES, BEDCLOTHES RUSTLE

EDEN    [muffled] Are you awake?

HENRY    Yeah, sure.  Whatever.

SOUND    DOOR OPENS WITH DIFFICULTY

SOUND     EDEN ENTERS WITH TRAY

EDEN    I hope you like bacon.

HENRY     Uh, yeah! [surprised and enthused]

SOUND    SHIFTING AS HE SITS UP IN BED, CHAIN MOVES

HENRY    Thanks.  Breakfast in bed.  Almost like a dream, except--

SOUND    RATTLE OF CHAINS

CALLANDRA    [snarky] Well, we can't have you wandering around the house like some sort of ... burglar, can we?

HENRY    Does she need to be here?

SOUND    SETS DOWN TRAY, DISHES RATTLE

EDEN    She's my backup.  I need to talk to you.

HENRY    [annoyed] Go ahead.  I don't eat with my ears.

SOUND    EATING NOISES

EDEN    [snort of laughter]  This is going to sound really dumb, but...  [thinks hard]  I have a kind of proposition for you.

HENRY    [offended] You are way too young, and she's dead.

EDEN    Huh?

CALLANDRA    Shame on you!

HENRY    Nothing. [eats noisily]

EDEN    Ew!  [angry sigh]  Look, no.  My dad is out of town, and I need someone to pretend to be him and talk to CPS.

HENRY    CPS?  The CPS?  Hell no.  I hate those bast‑‑ uh-- buttheads.

EDEN    Why?  You got kids?

HENRY    Never mind.  No way you can talk me into--

EDEN    We'll pay you.

HENRY    --into-- How much?

EDEN    Dad said we could give you a thousand.  For staying here for two weeks and pretending to be him.

HENRY    He's not coming home for two weeks?  [truly offended] What the hell is wrong with him, leaving you all alone?

CALLANDRA    Language!!

HENRY    I don't give a flying rat's patoot about my language!  If your dad is so flipping negligent to leave you all alone for weeks at a time, [losing steam] then maybe you'd be ... better off--

EDEN    [anguish] In foster care?  No way!!

HENRY    Well, no, but... don't you have any other family?

EDEN    [mumbled] Not anywhere around here.

HENRY    [sincere] That sucks!

EDEN    Look, I'm not supposed to say anything, but my dad...  He [whispers importantly] he works for the government.  Top secret.

HENRY    Seriously?

EDEN    Uh-huh!  So he can't always control when he'll be back.

HENRY    Why would he - why would you even trust me?

EDEN    You won't get paid until after the two weeks is up.  Besides... I'm a pretty good cook?

HENRY    Okay, but I have to be able to tell my mom.  She'll worry if I don't get home.

EDEN    You live with your mom?  But you're like a grownup.  That's weird.

HENRY    Why do you think I don't have a real job? 

MUSIC

 

SCENE 7 – MEETING CPS

FREDERICK    [sharp whisper] Now you just behave now, my lad, or I'll give you what for again.

HENRY    [trying to be flippant] “Boo.”  I get it.  This makeup itches. 

EDEN    Sorry.  You had to look a little older. 

HENRY    It is kinda creepy how I look so much like your dad.

EDEN    Yeah.  [fretting] Where IS she?

SOUND    KNOCK ON THE DOOR

CALLANDRA    Eep!

EDEN    [to the ghosts] Scat! [quiet] Ready?

HENRY    Guess we'll find out.

SOUND    FEET, DOOR UNLOCKS and OPENS

EDEN    Hello?  Ah.  Right on time.

  1. SHERMAN Your father--?

EDEN    Right here.  Come on in.

HENRY    [trying too hard to sound old] Ethan Anderson.  Pleased to meet you.  You're Ms. Sherman?

EDEN    [warning] Dad!  [explaining] He's had a cold.

  1. SHERMAN [warm] Ah!  I hope you're on the mend?

HENRY    [clears his throat, sounds more normal]  Yes, yes.  Much better.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 8 – WAITING IN THE KITCHEN

SOUND    FLAP OF KITCHEN DOOR, FEET

CALLANDRA    [very nervous] How goes it?

EDEN    Seems OK, so far. 

HENRY    [off, furious] What?

EDEN    Oh no!

SOUND    RUNS OFF, FLAP OF DOOR

EDEN    [breathless] What?

HENRY    [grim] Tell her.

  1. SHERMAN [sweet] My dear, um, Eden. I was just telling your father that your school has raised issues about your father's involvement--

EDEN    Why?  He emails them all the time.  They understand how busy he is.

  1. SHERMAN We still have to take it under advisement. Now, off the record, and with the understanding that you, sir, are a fairly wealthy man, I might ask why you haven't engaged a nanny or other similar household staff--

EDEN    [QUIET, prompting] DAD!   

HENRY    [angry] What business is it of yours, lady?

  1. SHERMAN Perhaps you should step out and leave us alone again, dear.

EDEN    No.  I may be too young for my opinion to count, but I want to hear what you plan to do to me.  We don't need anyone to look after the house.  I can do that.

  1. SHERMAN But you shouldn't have to - you are a child, dear, and you have better things to do.

EDEN    Like what?  Play Xbox and get fat?

MUSIC

 

SCENE 9 – AFTER SHE LEAVES

SOUND    FRONT DOOR SHUTS, LOCKS

HENRY    You have 20 million dollars?

EDEN    And a half.  Not like I can spend it.  They don't trust me - that's why they call it a trust fund.

HENRY    [snort]

SOUND    SHE STARTS UP THE STAIRS

HENRY    Hey, we're talking here.

EDEN    [upset] You're only my dad while there's an audience.

HENRY    [calling] Why don't you want a nanny or something?

SOUND    RUNS UP THE STAIRS

CALLANDRA    Poor child. 

HENRY    [gasps]  Oh, right. 

CALLANDRA    Pity you're not much of a father.

HENRY    [offended] You're not much help, either.

CALLANDRA    Oh?  And what do you expect from me?  I've been dead over a century, boyo.

HENRY    How's that work, anyway?

CALLANDRA    [pouty] Don't know.  Wouldn't tell you if I did.

HENRY    Fine.  Whatever.  You have anything to drink around this place?

CALLANDRA    [rolls eyes] Oh, yes.  That would look terrible good to Ms. Sherman, wouldn't it?

HENRY    I'm going out for a while.  Don't worry - I'll sneak out the back.  I'm good at THAT.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 10 – HENRY’S HOME

SOUND    DOOR OPENS, MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND

HENRY    [sigh, then calling]  Hey mom!

MOM    [bleary drunk] Baby?  That you?

HENRY    [resigned] Yes, mom.

MOM    Where you been? 

HENRY    I gotta job, mom.  Been working.

MOM    You bring me back a little something, baby?  Medicine?

HENRY    [down] Tomorrow.  I promise.

MOM    [sarcastic] Such a good boy.  You gon' expect me to bail you out again?  You need to get you some better friends, baby.

HENRY    I'm not a baby, mom.  I'm thirty-five.

MOM    You'll always be my baby, Henry, won't you?  You know how much I count on you.  How much it hurts every time you been taken away from me.  What would I do if you were in jail?  Do you ever think about that?

HENRY    Yeah.  [under his breath] All the time.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 11 – CHAT WITH DAD

SOUND    COMPUTER KEYS

SOUND    DOOR OPENS

HENRY    Eden?

EDEN    [gasps] What?  Oh!  You're back!

SOUND    FOOTSTEPS

HENRY    You shouldn't sit in the dark like that.

EDEN    [sarcastic] Thanks dad.  [serious]  I've been chatting with my real dad.

HENRY    I didn't hear anything, if that's what you're worried about.

EDEN    Duh.  Computer chatting. 

HENRY    Typing.  Right.  I'm not much for the whole computer thing.

EDEN    That could be awkward, if Ms. Sherman decides to quiz you on what you do for a living.  Dad's a programmer.

HENRY    For the government?

EDEN    [scornful] No!  [realizing] Oh, I mean... uh... he's a programmer for real, but he doesn't program for them.

HENRY    [suspicious] Can I type something to him?

EDEN     Sure.

SOUND    CHAIR SHIFTS, CLUMSY, SLOW TYPING

EDEN    Is this a secret, or can I type it for you?

HENRY    Yeah, go on - at this rate I'll be here all night just to say Hi.  Um... [thinking] Mister... uh ... can I call him Ethan?

EDEN    [responding to dad]  All right.  He says let's turn on the microphone.

SOUND    CLICK

EDEN    Now you can just talk. He still has to type, though.  His mike is broken.

HENRY    I don't know you, so maybe I'm not the one who should be saying this, but - here goes.  Dude, leaving your kid alone makes you a bad dad.  So what if the government needs you!

EDEN    You're... serious?

HENRY    Hell yeah.  You're gonna grow up robbing banks and stuff.

EDEN    Hmm.  He says, just because your dad was a deadbeat, doesn't mean --

HENRY    What the hell do you think you know?

EDEN    He says--

HENRY    I can see what he says.  Background check, my ass!

EDEN    I told you he's a computer guy.

HENRY    Fine.  You need to take care of--

EDEN    Don't tell me how to raise my daughter.  Oh, and he says "watch"--

SOUND    [some CCTV video comes on the computer]

HENRY    [shocked] How did he get that?

EDEN    Is that you?  Breaking into a building?  Wow.  Wait, is that the museum?

HENRY    So that's your way of keeping me in line? 

EDEN    Are you the one who stole the Cellini vase?

HENRY    I plead the fifth.  [angry sigh] Fine.  I'll do my two weeks, and then I am the hell out of here.

EDEN    [angry] Very well, you worthless wretch!

HENRY    What?

EDEN    [innocent] Just what he said.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 12 – RUDE AWAKENING

SOUND    POUNDING ON DOOR

CALLANDRA    Mr. Anderson!! 

HENRY    [sleepy] What?

CALLANDRA    That woman is at the door! 

HENRY    I can't answer it like this!  I don't have that old-age makeup--

CALLANDRA    Frederic!

HENRY    No, no - I can do it--

SOUND    POUNDING AGAIN

FREDERIC    Did I hear a cue?

HENRY    No, we--

CALLANDRA    He needs to look old and ill.  And right fast.

HENRY    Really, I--

FREDERIC    Hmm.  Here.  [horrible ghostly noise]

HENRY    [screams]

CALLANDRA    Shh!

FREDERIC    Damnation.  Once that would have turned your hair quite white - as it is, you will have to wear a cap.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 13 – CPS AGAIN

SOUND    DOOR OPENS SLOWLY

HENRY    [shaky] Yes?

  1. SHERMAN Took you long enough.

HENRY    I was in the shower.  Nearly killed myself slipping when I came down the stairs.

  1. SHERMAN Are you going to ask me in?

HENRY    You might have heard the scream.

  1. SHERMAN No. [hinting to let her in] It is rather chilly out here.

HENRY    [sigh] Very well.

SOUND    THEY GO IN, HE FAKES A LIMP

CALLANDRA    You watch out for that one!

HENRY    Shh!

FREDERICK    She can't hear us unless we want her to.

  1. SHERMAN I expect Eden is at school right now?

HENRY    She's a very good student.

  1. SHERMAN [disdainful] B plus.

HENRY    That ain't nothing to sneeze at, lady!

SOUND    SITS

  1. SHERMAN But we both know she could do better.

HENRY    What makes you think that?

  1. SHERMAN You could get her tutors.

HENRY    Why?  She's real smart.

FREDERICK    You tell her!  But you might try using proper grammar.

  1. SHERMAN There's so many things your money could do for your daughter.

HENRY    I'd rather let her be herself.

CALLANDRA    Oh, that's touching, that is.

  1. SHERMAN You could send her to private school. My own son Garth is in private school.

HENRY    [faltering] She has ...friends.... here.

  1. SHERMAN [hinting] A very expensive private school.

HENRY    You recruiting or something?  I ain't making any decisions behind my kid's back.

  1. SHERMAN You could pay me to leave you alone.

HENRY    She wants to stay --  WHAT? 

CALLANDRA    Horrors!

FREDERIC    Bezom!

  1. SHERMAN You must understand, Mr. Anderson, just how poorly compensated we civil servants are these days. What a completely thankless job we do.

HENRY    You really just hit me up for money?

  1. SHERMAN And how particularly expensive a really good school is.

HENRY    [incredulous] Money.  You're asking for money.

  1. SHERMAN Of course.

HENRY    You're a skanky money-grubbing ho!

FREDERIC    Filth straight from the bowels of satan's own thrice-crowned hounds of hell!

  1. SHERMAN Language! [evil nice again] You have plenty of money.  I've looked into your financials.  Not just Eden's little trust fund, but liquid assets as well. 

HENRY    That's blackmail!

  1. SHERMAN Technically, it's extortion. So far.  Extortion is getting money with a threat of something yet to come.

HENRY    It's still illegal.

CALLANDRA    Oh, horrors!

  1. SHERMAN Blackmail, on the other hand, is getting money with the threat of revealing something from the past. Like your criminal record?

HENRY    My... [confused] what?

  1. SHERMAN Mr. Anderson, I have no wish to go into detail, but do you really think I would come here with just the might of CPS behind me?

HENRY    Maybe.

  1. SHERMAN No. I have something concrete on you. 

HENRY    Doesn't ring a bell.  [chuckles lamely]  Criminal record?  Me?  [laughs]

  1. SHERMAN Do the words 1987 and dot com mean anything to you?

HENRY    But I was just-- ["a kid", but he cuts off]

  1. SHERMAN Using an assumed name? You're very lucky no one thought to cross-reference your fingerprints before, but once they do what I did...

HENRY    Oh, crap.

  1. SHERMAN I'm in no hurry. I'd be happy to take a little something up front, and then a larger payment by the end of the week, perhaps?

HENRY    I'll ...see what I have lying around.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 14 – CHAT WITH DAD

SOUND    DOOR OPENS, FEET STORM IN

HENRY    Is your mike on, Mr. Anderson?

SOUND    COMPUTER BEEP

HENRY    Good.  Cause I don't know jack about how to work these things.

SOUND    COMPUTER BOOP

HENRY    You heard what happened?  How?

SOUND    BOOP

HENRY     I didn't even notice a computer in the living room. 

SOUND    BOOP

HENRY    Huh?  Which button?

SOUND    BOOP

HENRY    No need to get snippy.

SOUND     BUTTON PUSHED

ETHAN    [computer generated voice]  You will go immediately to the first hill bank and trust--

HENRY    What do you mean immediately?  I gotta do grocery shopping this morning.

ETHAN    Delivered.

HENRY    Not for here.  for my mom.

ETHAN    Get it delivered.

HENRY    Hey! Mom may be an old lush, but she expects to see me from time to time.

ETHAN    Bank after.

HENRY    What's all this crap that witch was talking about, anyway?

ETHAN    No time.  Bank today.  Take three thousand dollars--

HENRY    I can't pass for you at a damn bank!  I can't sign your name! 

ETHAN     Account in your name.  Use your own I-D.

HENRY    What?  In my name?  What makes you think I won't just walk off... [back on topic] Second - why three thousand?  She won't settle for just three--

ETHAN    Three thousand will pay off her car.

HENRY    Damn.  You really can find out anything, can't you?

MUSIC

 

SCENE 15 – HENRY HOME

SOUND    DOOR OPENS, MOM'S HOUSE.  TV ON

HENRY    I brought your groceries.

MOM    Good.  Didja get any beer?

HENRY    It's still in the car.

MOM    Bring that in next, woudja?  That's a good boy.

HENRY    [from other room, confused] Mom?  Where's my TV?

MOM    Mine was ...uh...on the fritz, so I moved yours in here.

HENRY    You did?

MOM    I had help.

HENRY    You forgot to pay, didn't you?

MOM    That is no way to talk to your mother!  Besides, if you weren't gone all the time, I wouldn't have such a problem.  You know I never was good with money. 

HENRY    Yeah.

MOM    When did you say you'd get paid for this new job you got?

MUSIC

 

SCENE 16 – DINNER WITH EDEN

SOUND    DINNER NOISES   

HENRY    You made this?

EDEN    [sullen] Yeah. 

HENRY    It's pretty good.

EDEN    Should be.  Been cooking since I was [Callandra's accent] "just a wee thing".  [change of tone, sullen]  You were gone all day.  Again.

HENRY    I came back.

EDEN    Well, duh.  We're paying you to be here.

HENRY    Are the ghosts joining us?

EDEN    [still sullen] Frederic gets too jumpy around food, and Callandra "doesna feel tis proper."

MOMENT OF SILENCE

HENRY    Are you mad at me? 

SOUND    THUMP - VASE ON TABLE

HENRY    What the h---ay?  You going through my room?

EDEN    Callandra saw you hide it.  SHE's very upset with you.

CALLNDRA    [from off] Though it is a right pretty wee thing!

HENRY    I had to bring it along - mom was about to use it as an ashtray.

EDEN    Why do you steal?

HENRY    Whoa!  That ain't polite to ask.

EDEN    It isn't polite to steal.

MOMENT OF SILENCE

HENRY    What else am I gonna do?  Shove burgers?  I ain't even got a GED.  Without that… well…

EDEN    If you're trying to convince me to stay in school, there's no point.

HENRY    No way!  You gonna drop out?  Smart kid like you – you could be any darn thing you want!

EDEN    Oh, please.  I already have a GED.  Or at least, I took the test – just to see, you know?  And I've taken a few college courses on the Internet.  I stay in school for the socialization. 

HENRY    Huh?

EDEN    I stay in school to look normal and have friends.  The work is boring as hell, but I don't want to stand out.  Do you know how hard it is to manage a B+ average?

HENRY    [sarcastic] Never had that problem, myself.

EDEN    [mounting upset] I have to guess on each test what the correct percentage of answers is to get wrong.  I have to dumb my writing down for essay questions.  I have to--

HENRY    Why?

EDEN    Why?

HENRY    Why not just say to hell with it, and let em see how smart you are?

EDEN    Smart kids get noticed.  I can stand out when I'm older.  When it's safe. 

MUSIC

 

SCENE 17 – WHERE’S DAD

SOUND    COMPUTER NOISES

HENRY    You need to get your butt home, dude.  Your government might need you, but your daughter needs you more.

ETHAN    Not possible.

HENRY    What, are you in deep cover or something?  In a foreign prison?  [slow realization]  Oh.... crap.

ETHAN    We are both in crap.

HENRY    No, I mean you - you're like them, aren't you?

ETHAN    Define "them".

HENRY    The ghosts.

ETHAN    [beat] Yes.

HENRY    Holy crap.

ETHAN    No.  Just regular crap. 

HENRY    I can't stay here forever!

ETHAN    Eden needs you.

HENRY    [wobbling] My mom... she needs me, too.

ETHAN    Open the scanner.

HENRY    What?  Oh, that. 

SOUND    SCANNER NOISE

ETHAN    I need your hand.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 18 – WHERE’S MOM

SOUND    SILENT HOUSE, KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS

HENRY    Mom, why's the TV --?  [panicky] Mom?

SOUND    MOVES THROUGH, TALKING

HENRY    Mom, please say you're okay.  Say something!  Hello?  Oh, jeez, what could they'a done to‑‑ [cuts off as he spots something] What?

SOUND    PAPER PICKED UP

HENRY    [Reading]  Hope you get this. Woulda called, but--

MOM    [continuing, guilt tripping]  --you never gave me your number at "work".  Won a cruise in a mail-in contest.  Back in a month.  "Mom."  P-S, all expenses paid - how you like them apples.  Oh, and make sure to pay the electric bill.  Want heat when I get home.

HENRY    [half amused, half annoyed chuckle] Ethan, you king of all shits.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 19 – LIKE MOTHER

SOUND    OUTSIDE, DAYTIME STREET

GARTH    Hey!

EDEN    [suspicious]  Can I help you?

GARTH    [mean chuckle] You bet.

SOUND    CLICK OF CAMERA PHONE

GARTH    [annoyed] Hey!

EDEN    [scared, but standing her ground] If this is a mugging, I just e-mailed your picture to my dad.

GARTH    He's not gonna do anything.

EDEN    What makes you so sure?

GARTH    My mom has him by the short hairs.

EDEN    Your mom?

GARTH    Sherman?  From CPS?  Ring any bells?

EDEN    She went away.  Everything is fine.

GARTH    Course it is.  It's fine as long as you guys play ball.

EDEN    [starting to get it]  As long as we--?

GARTH    Pay up. 

EDEN    But that's--

GARTH    You wanna complain, go whine to your dad, he'll explain the facts of life.  For now... you got an ipod?

EDEN    [starting to break] I--

GARTH    [threatening] Or should I say, do I got an ipod?  [snarl] Hand it over.

SOUND    HAND OVER

EDEN    [nearly in tears] There.  Choke on it, you bully!

GARTH    Uh!  [shoves her]

SOUND    EDEN FALLS

EDEN    [gasp, trying hard not to cry]

SOUND    GARTH WALKS AWAY

GARTH    Hah!  She got the Bieber fever.  [nasty laugh]  Ooh!  Beyonce! 

EDEN    [long sniffle]

SOUND    RUNNING FEET

HENRY    What happened?  Here, let me--

SOUND    SHE JUMPS UP AND THROWS HER ARMS AROUND HIM

EDEN    [crying]

HENRY    [nervous, not sure what to say] It's okay!  I'll handle this.  It's-- [determined, personal]  It's going to be okay.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 20 – getting even

SOUND    QUIETLY DRESSING

HENRY    [whispering] It's easy to forget she's just a kid.

FREDERIC    [stage whisper]  She is a most self-possessed young lady.

HENRY    Shh.  She only just got to sleep.

FREDERIC    And you?  Are you leaving her now, in her hour of need?

HENRY    [grim] Something I gotta do.

FREDERIC    In the middle of the night?

SOUND    ZIPPER ZIPS

FREDERIC    And dressed all in black?  I sense skullduggery!

HENRY    Sense all you want, but stay quiet about it. 

FREDERIC    Alas that I cannot do more than keep the light burning for your return. 

HENRY    Yeah.  See you in the morning.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 21 – SATISFACTION

SOUND    LOUD BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR, DOOR OPENS

HENRY    [self satisfied] Ahh!  [yawns]  So sorry.  Long night.

  1. SHERMAN Your check bounced!

HENRY    [congenial]  No, I put a stop payment on it.  Won't you come in?

  1. SHERMAN You WHAT?

HENRY    I - we - aren't playing your game any more.

SOUND    DOOR CREAKS OPEN A CRACK, UP CLOSE

EDEN    [whispered, eavesdropping] Go, Henry!

FREDERIC    I could always give her a visitation - maybe we'll get lucky and she'll keel over from the shock!

EDEN    No!  He may be a butt, but I don't want you to kill some kid's mom! 

CALLANDRA    They've gone into the living room!

EDEN    I'll have to listen on the laptop then.  Right dad?

SOUND    BEEP

MUSIC

 

SCENE 22 – REVELATION

HENRY    Would you like a soda?

  1. SHERMAN I would like an explanation. What makes you think I won't go through with turning you in?

HENRY    Go ahead.  When they take my fingerprints and they don't match the ones you have on file, you'll look pretty silly.

  1. SHERMAN You - you...!

HENRY    You might have noticed that I'm a bit of a computer nerd.

  1. SHERMAN Oh-ho-ho! [getting composure back]  You may have changed the prints on the system,  But you can't get into my backups.

HENRY    Call my bluff.

  1. SHERMAN Very well--

HENRY    BUT--

SOUND    MOMENT OF AWKWARD PAUSE

  1. SHERMAN [worried] What?

HENRY    I'm afraid you have a problem of your own.

  1. SHERMAN I have a what? Are you trying to blackmail me?  I am very careful.

HENRY    About your money stuff, yeah - I'm sure you are.  This is something else.  A vase.

  1. SHERMAN A what?

HENRY    Have you read the papers recently?  The museum?

  1. SHERMAN The Cellini Vase?

HENRY    Yeah, that thing.

  1. SHERMAN What does that have to do with me?

HENRY    It's in your house.

MUSIC

 

SCENE 23 – FINALE

EDEN    What if she finds it?

HENRY    What's she gonna do with it?  She don't know no fences.

CALLANDRA    Or any place to sell it either.

EDEN    She might give it back?

FREDERIC    And try to explain how she happened to come by such a fugitive object?  Hah!

HENRY    Hah is right.

EDEN    [down] So I guess this means you're gonna go now.  I mean now that it's all clear.

HENRY    I guess.

EDEN    Would you stay?  I mean, if you could?

HENRY    I'd like to but.... I dunno.  My mom--

SOUND    BEEP

ETHAN    [computer voice] Was lucky and got an apartment in a new full-service assisted living community.

HENRY    What?  You can't just--

ETHAN    Try and get her out.  They have KeNo every Thursday.

HENRY    [annoyed but thinking] Hmm..... Does she get to have a nice TV?

ETHAN    No.

HENRY    What?  How can you--?

ETHAN    You will bring one to her. 

EDEN    Clever.

FREDERIC    Brilliant!

CALLANDRA    [sniffling] Touching.

HENRY    Gotcha.  And what about me?

EDEN    I have four more years before I can technically be emancipated.  If you're willing to be my dad til then, we'll--

ETHAN    Pay you one hundred thousand per year.

HENRY    [dubious] That's pretty good.  Hmm...  Four years.

EDEN    Well, what do you want, then?

HENRY    Four years sounds like a heckuva lot like college.

EDEN    I'm still too young.

HENRY    Nah... I was thinking... you know... [quiet] For me.  [up] But only if you'll help me get my GED and stuff.

EDEN    I bet I could be a really good tutor!

MUSIC    END