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19 Nocturne Boulevard


19 Nocturne Boulevard is an award-winning anthology audio drama series that ran from 2008 through 2013, and then went into deep hibernation.

STILL working on that Comeback!!

Also the creator of Fatal Girl, Bingo the Birthday Clown, The Deadeye Kid, The Lovecraft 5, The Prisoner of Hancock House, The Decadence of Borrowed Silk, Eternal Dusk Roulette, and Atomic Julie's Galactic Bedtime Stories.                                                        Join our awesome Patreon supporters!

Dec 30, 2021

Trigger Warnings below the script, below.

Two girls in very different times and places both make their way to the top - One finds exaltation, the other merely death.


Cast List
Tess - Beverly Poole
Teza - Lyndsey Thomas
Mom - Kris Keppeler
Markie/Malque - Julie Hoverson
Doctor/Trainer/Priest - Mathias Rebne Morgan

Music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com)
        Josh Woodward (JoshWoodward.com)
        Philippe Mangold
[Music of Woodward and Mangold used under a Creative Commons license and available through Jamendo.com]
Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson
Cover Photos: Chris Gilbert
    (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com)

 

"What kind of a place is it? 
Why, it's a mother's heart.  Can't you tell?"

****************************************************************

LONELY AT THE TOP

Cast:

  • Tess (F/16)
  • Teza (F/16)
  • Markie/Marquay (F/16)
  • Mom (F/40)
  • Priest/Trainer/Doctor (M/40)

 

NOTE:  the roles are deliberately doubled to present the same “people” in both girls’ lives.  The “mom” speeches apply to both at the same time.

 

OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a Mother's heart, can't you tell?  

MUSIC

  1. MOM's MUSIC

MOM    Darling, this is wonderful.  You can't imagine how proud I am of you!  I've always known you were special, but it means so much to have someone like that see what I have always seen!

MUSIC OUT

  1. AMB MODERN

MARKIE    I totally can't believe it!  You made the cut?

TESS    It's not set in stone yet - It's just the semi-finals, but mom's about to wet herself, she's so excited.

MARKIE    But Miss Modern Teen Model 2009!  I mean, even if you wash out on the semi-finals, that's still soooo cool!  I wish I was pretty.

TESS    Puh-lease.  You're cute.  Cute lasts.  Beauty fades.

MARKIE    Cute.  Yeah, that's my curse.  Not tall enough to be a model, not short enough to walk under turnstiles... [laughs a bit bitterly]

TESS    Cute lasts.  I have to make the most of this while I can.  Besides, you have plans for your future - the scholarships are lining up. 

MARKIE    Yeah yeah yeah, but brains don't get you dates.

TESS    Brains last too.

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    The idea that my daughter - my lovely child - could go all the way to the top.  That you could have the perseverance and willpower to do what has to be done to make it.  It will reflect so well on all of us!

MUSIC OUT

  1. AMB AZTEC

MARQUE    You are one of the chosen?

TEZA    [laughs delightedly] Yes!  There is still a long path ahead of me, but I feel - it feels right!

MARQUE    You are so fortunate!  I wish I was graced with beauty pleasing to the gods. 

TEZA    Everyone's fate is different, my dearest friend.  I hear your parents have found you a husband!

MARQUE    He is ... kind.  Not unappealing.  Not too old.  Yes, it is a promising match.  I could certainly do worse.

TEZA    So you have as much to look forward to as I do!

MARQUE    Could you ... do something for me?

TEZA    Anything - you are my dearest friend and I love you!

MARQUE    When you ... get there, could you petition the great mother Chalchihuitlicue [chal-chee-weet-lee-cue] to smile upon my first pregnancy?  That say that should you survive the first, the others are not so hard.

TEZA    Not even a bride yet, and you worry about bearing?  Silly.  Let your time come when it may. 

MARQUE    But--

TEZA    But!  But I will.  I will speak with every goddess in the heavens if it will help ease your burden.

MARQUE    I love you!

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    Don't be afraid honey, I won't let you fail.  I know you can reach any goal you set your mind on.  You simply must keep your focus.  Can you do that?  Eyes on the prize, sweetheart.  And you know what that means - giving up the things that don't matter to clear the way for the things that do.

  1. AMB MODERN

MOM    What are you eating?

TESS    What?  Ice cream.

MOM    No, no, no!  You know what Mr. Dupree said - these last few days before the pageant, you need to stick to simple foods.  No sugar!  Nothing bloaty.  

TESS    Chill mom.  I made it this far--

MOM    It just gets harder, honey.  Every inch of the way is like another huge step up the side of a mountain.  None of these steps are easy, but they're worth the effort, if only because of the view once you get up there.

TESS    You're really stoked on this, aren’t you?

MOM    Yes honey, I'm stoked.  For you.  I want you to be able to get everything you can out of life - a model's life isn't easy, but there are plenty of rewards.

TESS    [heard it a million times] and you have to get it while you can, because models are over the hill before they can legally drink.

MOM    It's not funny, honey.  It's very serious.  Can't you give it just one year?  How hard is that - to push yourself, for just one year?

TESS    I guess.

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    When I heard that you had been chosen, that you were smiled upon out of all the girls, I nearly wept.  I was so pleased.  I've watched your sisters put themselves at the service of husband and children, and I wanted so much more for you.  You are my special, beautiful, darling.

  1. AMB AZTEC

MARQUE    I'm sorry you will miss my wedding. 

TEZA    It is set, then?

MARQUE    Not the day, no, but it will be summer next, right after the sowing. 

TEZA    A good time.  And I will be with you in spirit. 

MARQUE    The midwife thinks I will be old enough, then.  [breaking a little] Oh, I will miss you!  Once you enter the grand temple, we can never speak again!

TEZA    You will always be in my heart, as I know I will always be in yours.  I will watch over you and always hear you when you speak to me.

MARQUE    It will be in the spring?  For you?

TEZA    If I am selected to represent Chicomecoatl [chih-coe-me-coe-ah-tul].  It would be a great honor. 

MARQUE    Your mother has been bragging everywhere.  She cannot be quieted. 

TEZA    It's as if she was the one being considered.

MARQUE    Never mind.  Regardless, we will be together through the winter, while you learn all you must know for the big day. 

TEZA    And you learn all you must know for your big day.

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    My dearest child, you don't know how my heart swells with pride when I think about you, up there in front of everyone, beautiful and serene, like a shining star, and knowing, deep inside myself, that I made you perfect.

  1. AMB DUAL

[Both are speechifying]

TESS    I am so pleased to be considered --

TEZA    --to represent our lady of corn on this most sacred of days.  I have always wanted--

TESS    --to be able to find a way to show the world what I have inside, what I have to offer.  And if I could do one thing--

TEZA    --I would like to make my mother, my family, and my people proud of me, for community is everything.  Without the people around us, we--

TESS    --would never have made it this far, this close to becoming the next to represent--

TEZA    --Lady of the corn--

TESS    --Miss Modern Teen Model 2019.

  1. AMB MODERN

TESS    [crying]

MOM    What the hell did you think you were doing in there?  They were laughing at you!

TESS    [teary] What?

MOM    That judge said you walk like a trucker with hemorrhoids!

TESS    I don't know how I walk!  I don't watch me!

MOM    [softening] Honey!  Sweetie!  Oh, come here.  It's not over - I promise you.  You were doing so well, I'm sure this one thing won't put you out entirely, as long as you don't give up. 

TESS    I want to--

MOM    Shh. Shh.  We'll just find someone to do something about that walk.  No big deal.

  1. AMB AZTEC

TEZA    [tears] It's all over! I know it!

MARQUE    Why?

TEZA    The rich merchant from Tenochtitlan - he has requested I marry him!

MARQUE    But doesn't he know you are destined for the temple?

TEZA    [scornful] Apparently he likes the idea of marrying someone perfect enough for the gods.

MARQUE    That is - he is asking for something terrible to happen!

TEZA    Well, I haven't been chosen yet - if I tried to step away then, that would be blasphemy.  But to drop out now... what a blow it would be to everyone.  And yet - my mother may consider his offer, since he is very prosperous.  It is not fair!

MARQUE    No.   Do not worry.  I think this means as much to your mother - more even - than it does to you.  She wishes you to secure her a place in the high tables of the night.  And there is money from the temple as well - the position is a very prestigious one. 

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    Your dreams are all that matters, my dearest child.  I will never try and stop you from getting everything you deserve.  You know you can count on my support every step of the way.  I will always be behind you to help you face forward, and will push you up every step, if that's what it takes. 

  1. AMB MODERN

SOUND    VOMITING MUFFLED BY DOOR

MOM    Honey?  You doing all right?

TESS    [recovering] Just a minute.

MOM    Quick rinse, dear - there's someone here to see you!

SOUND    DOOR SHUTS, FOOTSTEPS

MOM    She'll be out in a minute - fixing her face, you know.

TRAINER    Of course.  Why don't work out my fees while we wait--

SOUND     DOOR OPENS

TESS    [subdued] Hi.

MOM    Oh, come on, show a little enthusiasm!  She's really much more excited than that.

TRAINER    Don't worry - I understand.  So this is Tess.  [hmming noises]

SOUND    FOOTSTEPS CIRCLE TESS

TRAINER    Has she had any formal modeling training?

MOM    She's been taking classes since she was nine.

TRAINER    [disapproving]  Hmm.

MOM    But she also studied ballet, tap, jazz, deportment, and has kept up a 3.7 G-P-A.

TRAINER    [dismissive noise]

TESS    And I-

TRAINER    Shh!  How old is she?

MOM    Fourteen. 

TRAINER    We're starting it a bit late, but I see potential here.  Show me this walk...

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    Think on this.  Think of the great ones - the ones we all idolize and hold in great regard.  Now picture your face there, among them, gracing the rest of us below.  Can't you see yourself?  Your perfect self?

  1. AMB AZTEC

MOM    [whispered]  Don't they look grand in their feathers?  They hold our future - your future in their very hands.

TEZA    Mother.  You will make me tongue-tied.  They are wise and all-knowing.  They will know if I am the one--

MOM    That you are the one--

TEZA    --the minute they lay eyes upon me.

MOM    [gasp] Was that your name?  Did they call your name?

TEZA    Yes, mother it was my name.  Pray for me.

SOUND    ECHOING FOOTSTEPS

PRIEST    You, child.  You aspire to represent the great lady of the corn?

TEZA    [awed and respectful]  Yes, if it please the gods.

PRIEST    You are lovely, but are you pure?

TEZA    Yes, sire.  My mother can swear to it.

PRIEST    Remove your shawl, show us your body.  Do not hesitate, child - nothing untoward will happen.  Your mother is right there watching.

SOUND    HEAVY FABRIC FALLS TO THE FLOOR

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    It's just skin, honey.  You have nothing to be embarrassed about.  You're lovely.  Think of yourself as a work of art, and they are objective observers.  They wouldn't be interested in you that way, anyway - you know that.  And I'm right here.  Tell me if you get nervous, and I'll make them stop.  All right?  You know every girl who has gone  before has been through this same thing.

  1. AMB MODERN

TESS    [nervous, jittery]  Well, they haven't said no, yet.

MARKIE    That's good.

TESS    I guess.  I mean, I'm starting to wonder whether it's all really worth it.  I'm supposed to get good sleep, be rested, so I can look my best, but half the time I'm too damn nervous, or hungry, or...something.  I'm always trying not to think of things, like food, or having time to myself - I mean, what is it all for?

MARKIE    Wow.  Maybe you should just tell your mom you want to stop.

TESS    Tell my mom?  [laughs almost hysterically] Tell my mom?  Are you high?  She would toss me out on my ear.  She's got so into this - and besides, she's spent all this money - mucho dinero, you know - to get me this far.  How can I let her down - make her waste all that?

MARKIE    But you have to think of yourself, right?

TESS    I promised her I would do this for one year.  Just a year - I can do it.  [affirmations] I have the willpower to maintain, and the serenity to--[breaks into a sob]

MARKIE    Have you eaten anything today?

TESS    I can't!  The pre-judging is tomorrow.

MARKIE    I have some tic-tacs--

TESS    No!  Don't tempt me!  Shit, Markie, you're supposed to be helping me!

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    It will all be worth it, you know it will.  The purging, the special oils.  You will always be the most lovely one in the place - caught in that one special moment, when you shine above all others.  No one will ever forget you after that!

  1. AMB AZTEC

TEZA    great and reverent master, what if I have doubts?

PRIEST    Doubts?  What doubts, child?

TEZA    I fear that I will not be worthy.  That I will falter in my steps and dishonor the crown of corn.

PRIEST    I can look into your heart, child, and I see that you have the strength within you to bear this burden - to rise to the heights, and carry the name of Chicomecoatl with dignity and grace.

TEZA    Do you?

PRIEST    It is always the way of men and women to doubt themselves.  To worry that they will lose themselves in fear, or to ponder what life would be like had they not stepped out upon the path to greatness.  Ever and always.

TEZA    But what can I do?

PRIEST    Fast and pray, child.  I know you will see the correctness of your choice.  And when your day of glory comes, you will never know fear or doubt again.

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    A boy?  What do you mean a boy?  You don't have time for - you're too young for boys.  All the boys you could possibly want will be at your feet, when the time comes, but right now - [hissed] it will ruin you. 

  1. AMB MODERN

TESS    But Corey's on TV!  He could help my--

MOM    He could get you on the covers of a bunch of sleazy tabloids--

TESS    But you said publicity is good--

MOM    Not that kind - that will make sure everyone knows your name, but you will never be high class again!  Save that kind of exploitation for when your looks start to fade.

TESS    Yeah, like when I'm 17.

MOM    You knew going in this was a short hard run, missy.  There is no free ride.  You wanted this as much as I did!

TESS    Well I don't want it any more!  I want to have a normal life!

MOM    Fine.  We can go back to living a normal life.  You and me and your dad - oh, wait.  Where should we live, hun?  We sold the house when we came on the road with you - to finance your headshots and your spa treatments.  I suppose if you quit school--

TESS    [muttered] I can't concentrate anyway.

MOM    --and get a job in fast food, we three between us could make enough to [ramping up, each statement a dagger] live in a crappy little apartment and eat junk food all the time and get enormously fat and covered in  acne, and then as soon as you're old enough, you can run off with some high school drop out who wants to start a band-- [sliding down, into her own misery] but of course you love each other and he ends up driving Greyhound and you lose the last vestige of your waist when you have the first three children, but the fourth child - your fourth child, she might just be perfect enough to live the good life - the beautiful life - at least until she ruins it!

TEZA    You gave me the choice mother, and I accept my fate.

MOM    I always knew you were just too good to live.  You are an angel, honey, a perfect angel.

TESS    Yes, mother.

MOM    Sweetie.  [all business] Now here's your pills from Dr. Gustavson - he said don't take them on an empty stomach, so go grab a cracker and some diet soda.

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    There is nothing wrong with wanting more for your child than you had.  Wanting to guide her and make sure she gets the advantages instead of making the same stupid mistakes you made.  Is there?  Isn’t all of life - at least the lives of parents - the effort to make a better life for your children?

  1. AMB AZTEC

MARQUE     And is he very handsome, the chosen vessel of Tezcatlipoca?

TEZA    Don't be silly - he is perfect.  They wouldn't have chosen him otherwise.  [sigh] but of course, we are set upon different paths.

MARQUE    Perhaps you will meet later.  Beyond the sun.

TEZA    Perhaps.  But he has been given four wives who are all perfect as well.  

MARQUE    And you are the Lady of Corn - none can shine brighter than a candle in the sunlight when you are in the room.  I swear you get more beautiful every day.  This suits you.

TEZA    Thank you - my mother says so also.  [beat]  We are to meet at another function - what if he talks to me again?

MARQUE    Talk is all well and good, but do not be alone.  It is so humiliating to prove that you have not fallen into temptation.

TEZA    ugh [shudder]  I could go my whole life without ever feeling that again.  [bucks up] And I shall.  I may talk to him, but I will never step out of the sight of the priests.  We will both remain perfect.

MARQUE    Very good.

TEZA    I wish you could have come with me...but the temple handmaidens are devoted even earlier than we.

MARQUE    Well, I have news for you as well.  My husband to be, [pleased] who has meals with my family more often than custom requires -hmm? - is really quite an amusing man.  And very fond of me.  I may not have my moment in the center of the universe, but I will have a good life.

TEZA    I am so pleased.  And I will remember to   petition for you.

SOUND    [hug noise]

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    Unhappy?  How can you be unhappy?  You have everything you could possibly want - your face in front of everyone, men at your beck and call, and attending all the best celebrations!  What could you possibly be missing?  [wheedling] you know I'm only doing this for you!  You want this as much as I do!  You've finally made it, honey, what more could any girl want?  Every girl out there looks at you and cries herself to sleep wishing she could trade lives with you.  That is enough to make anyone happy, isn’t it?  To be envied?  How could you possibly be unhappy enough to do this?

  1. AMB MODERN

DOCTOR    Now take two of these every eight hours, to prevent infection, and change the dressings every 4 hours or so. 

MOM    I'll keep her on schedule, don't you worry.  And...this won't get out?

DOCTOR    It's hardly likely that people won't notice the change, even with the recuperation period, but I certainly don't keep in business by revealing personal info about my clientele.

TESS    Mom?

MOM    Don't worry, dear.  Momma's right here.

TESS    You said I wouldn't feel it.

MOM    Does it hurt, honey?  Here, doctor, can she have something for the pain?

DOCTOR    That's in the bag too, but do go light on them - you don't want to become dependent. 

MOM    And when the scars heal, and everyone sees  how lovely you are, with your new curves, you will be the envy of even more of the world.

TESS    [dully] Of course, mother.

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    Even perfection can be improved on.  Beauty is pain.  That which is prized most is always hardest to come by.  If it was easy to be beautiful, everyone would want to be ugly instead.  You cannot be special if everyone can easily achieve what you have.  You must stand out.  You must shine.  Look into that mirror, dearest child, and tell me you don't love yourself even more each day as you come closer and closer to perfection.

  1. MUSIC - BOTH

TEZA    Life is pain

TESS    Beauty sucks.

TEZA    I am being remade in the image of the goddess. 

TESS    Who decides what I should fucking look like?

TEZA    Painted and pierced.  Smoothed and scented.  I am treated like a queen.

TESS    If I have to have one more operation, I'll pee stitches.

TEZA    I bite the stick and let the pain carry me away as they mold my flesh.

TESS    I cry all night, silently, so my mother won't come and comfort me.

  1. AMB AZTEC

TEZA    See my new ear plugs?  They made them larger again, and heavy.  They almost touch my shoulders now.

MARQUE    Don't they hurt?

TEZA    Of course, but pain won't last forever.  I rather coveted a nose piercing as well, but that is not suited to the lady.  I am being remade in her image.

MARQUE    I really admire your hair.  Such elegantly styled coils and plaits!

TEZA    Smell!  Only the finest oils must touch me.  Everything is moving so quickly - such a short time left before the day I ascend to the top of the sky.

MARQUE    Too bad it is not sooner - my sister will start her labor soon, and she could use a blessing from the lady of rivers. 

TEZA    I can still burn offerings, like anyone else.

MARQUE    True, but I can't help but feel the word of the corn lady will be heard so much louder than mere mortals such as we.

TEZA    [laughs ruefully] I can ask any one of a legion of priests to guide me in my prayers, and they will gladly help - for it is goodly for the lady of the corn to look after those with child. 

MARQUE    Would you?

TEZA    Yes.  And the priests - well their voices will carry as far as they need to go.

[they laugh]

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    The day is set, my child.  You have reached the height.  This can never be undone and leave you a nobody ever again.  Everyone will see your face, and know - they will know - that you are the center of the universe.

  1. AMB MODERN

TESS    Who the hell am I?

MOM    What?  Sweetie, you're--

TESS    I used to know!  I used to be Tess, a pretty and I dunno - slightly talented, maybe - high school student, and now--[sob catches]

MOM    Now, you're the most beautiful woman in the world - the magazine said so.  It showed your absolute perfection--

TESS    Not my perfection, mother - that's complete crap.  I'm like - I'm like Mr. potato head, and you stuck hair and makeup and a pair of boobs on me - None of this is me!  Who the hell am I?  Did you ever ask?  Did you ever care?

MOM    Honey!  It's just icing on a wonderful  cake.  You like cake, don't you?  [ingratiating] And isn’t it better with frosting?

TESS    [through gritted teeth] I don't GET cake, mother, not unless I want to taste it both ways [eating and throwing up].  I don’t even know if I could hold it down if I tried.

MOM    What the hell has got into you? 

TESS    You couldn’t even leave me my own name, could you?  "Tess" just isn't supermodel material.  And you didn’t even choose it - you let a marketing firm do a survey and took their suggestions.

MOM    You got to pick one of the three they came up with--

TESS    There isn’t any me left under all this, mother!  Nothing.  I'm hollow.  Empty.

MOM    Where are you going?

TESS    To find something to fill me.

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    Purpose.  Purpose is enough, isn’t it?  You are moving forward, ever forward.  The search for perfection is a road, not a destination.  There is nothing wrong with embellishing the beauty you were born with.

  1. AMB AZTEC

MARQUE    [crying]  It was horrible.

TEZA    I'm so sorry.  I did what I could.

MARQUE    I know.  She is with the gods, now, but it was so awful.  I - I'm so scared.

TEZA    Why?

MARQUE    Watching her - watching the blood and the pain, hours and hours of it - and the baby died too!  How can I ever choose to go through that?

TEZA    It is what women do.

MARQUE    You won't ever have to.

TEZA    [teasing a bit] I have to give life to the whole world.  [serious] But I feel for you.  And for your sister, and her baby.  It is a tragedy.

MARQUE    Is there anything in life that doesn’t hurt?

TEZA    Flowers.  Chocolate.  Love.

MARQUE    You know what I mean - important things.

TEZA    What is more important than Love?

MARQUE    [sniff, then a tiny sad uh-huh]

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    Only a few more days.  Nothing must go wrong.  You must be so very careful not to harm yourself, even a scratch or a nick will show.  Only the most skilled may come to do your hair, massage, and dress you in the most beautiful garments.  Nothing is left to chance.  Nothing.  Do you hear me?  Nothing will go wrong, even if I have to hurt someone.

  1. MODERN AMB

MOM    I see you're feeling a little better?

TESS    [dull] Yes I took my medicine.

MOM    Good.  Nothing like seeing a smile on my little girl's face again.  And there's nothing wrong with using science to combat unhappiness.

TESS    Yes mother.

MOM    Unhappiness isn't natural.  Especially for beautiful people.

TESS    Beautiful.

MOM    Dear.  Don't frown.  You don't want to get wrinkles!

TESS    Why don't I just lie here like a blob?  That way I can't break a nail.

MOM    Are you sure you took your pills?

TESS    [sigh]

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    It is always darkest right before the dawn.  And it is always tensest the night before the main event.  You hold your breath and pray for dawn, the watch the shadows crawl across the ground, feeling like the final moment will never come.  And once it arrives?  Pfft.  It is over. 

  1. AZTEC AMB

TEZA    I'm happy you could sit vigil this night with me, mother.

MOM    How could I do otherwise, my darling chosen one?

TEZA    [teasing] You must relinquish your claim to me, since I am now the Corn lady.

MOM    [fondly, almost in tears]  My lady of corn.  I will never forget that I was able to contribute to the glory you represent.

TEZA    Without you I would not be here - would not be able to bring life to the crops for another year.

MOM    And yet it is a melancholy time as well.   Knowing that the great lady will ascend to heaven tomorrow.

TEZA    I told Marque I will watch over her.  I can watch you both.  I have two eyes.

MOM    Can Teza give her mother a final kiss before the Corn lady must take her walk?

TEZA    Of course.  [kiss noise]

  1. MOM MUSIC

MOM    And this is it.  The end.  What we have worked so hard for.  I know it is a sad time.  I feel sad too, but the triumph, the glory, the joy will outweigh the sorrow. 

  1. MODERN AMB

MOM    What the hell do you mean, she's gone? 

TRAINER    She was here for the opening - the talent portion is about to start, and she's not in the dressing room. 

MOM    Have you checked the bathroom?

TRAINER    I asked every girl in there, and between yarks they said they hadn't seen her.

MOM    How could she do this to me?

TRAINER    Worse - her opening number gown is gone too, and it was a rental.

  1. AMB - MIXED

[Tess is down, Teza is filled with joy]

TEZA    I gaze up the endless stairs

TESS    Knowing this will be my last trip

BOTH    I feel my sandals shift beneath my feet as I take the first step.

TEZA    With each step, the roaring grows louder

TESS    The voices in my head just won't shut up!

TEZA    I must go slowly, for while I cannot falter, neither can I look down.

TESS    My head is so heavy

TEZA    My crown is so weighty.

BOTH    I feel all those eyes upon me.

TESS    [shriek] They won't leave me alone!

TEZA    [ecstatic] They love me!

TESS    They hate me!

TEZA    Each step takes me higher.  Closer to the heavens.

TESS    I haul myself up, one step at a time.

TEZA    My ears still ache - the pain reminds me of what I leave behind.

TESS    The pain of what I have become will never leave me.

TEZA    The scent of a thousand flowers, thrown by the crowd, surrounds me.

TESS    The hallway smells of puke.

BOTH    Only a few more steps. 

TEZA    I thrill with fear and longing, yearning for the gods.

TESS    Please god don't let me fuck this up.

TEZA    The priests await me, stern and welcoming.

TESS    I see a face and don't recognize myself until I realize it's a mirror.

TEZA    The name me Chicomecoatl, and I know I have become the Lady of the corn.

TESS    I stare into the eyes in the mirror and have no clue who she is.

BOTH    I take up the cup.

TEZA    The drink warms me, and I love everyone.

TESS    I drink slowly, timing the pills - too fast and I'll barf it all up before it can work.

TEZA    My mind floats.

BOTH    I can't feel anything anymore.

TEZA    They gently lay me on the altar.

TESS    The bathroom tile is cool under my cheek.

TEZA    The knife above me catches light from Huitztipotchli's glory.

TESS    Everything is getting dark

TEZA    The knife falls and I transcend.

TESS    Everything goes black.

OMINOUS SILENCE

CLOSING MUSIC SLOWLY CREEPS IN

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[TW - mature language and situations, extreme dieting, non-gender related body dysmorphia and modification, depression, suicide, human sacrifice]